


I'll Protect You

by Shybutterfly93



Series: INLG [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Drama & Romance, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Heavy BDSM, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Prostate Milking, Spanking, Total Power Exchange
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-04-30 15:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5169254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shybutterfly93/pseuds/Shybutterfly93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Yunho was a daddy and Jaejoong was just another baby boy. (Prequel to I Never Let Go)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning (pt. One 1/?)

**Author's Note:**

> So because I got a ton of ask for this and because I'm completely insane and love starting new stories without finishing other one's here this is. Enjoy. If it gets confusing, look to the original work first.

 

  _Ding dong, ding dong._

Heechul groaned in disgust at the sound of his front door being rung and pulled his comforter over his head. Who the hell concocted up the “brilliant” idea of putting in a central sound system so that the doorbell could be heard throughout every inch of the god damn house?! How could anyone be so evil?

_Ding dong, ding dong._

“GET THE FUCKING DOOR ALREADY!” He heard his sister scream from her bedroom.

“YOU FUCKING GET IT!” He shouted back.

_Ding dong, ding dong._

“HEECHUL!”

“Aaahhhgguh FINE!” He growled as he got out of bed. It wasn’t that late but he was still pissed someone dare disturb his beauty sleep. Irate, he headed downstairs not caring that he wasn’t wearing proper clothing.

“Put some damn pants on.” Heejin told him from her door.

“Put a bra on oh that’s right you don’t own one!” He spat back. “Not that you would need it.” He effectively dogged a slipper that was thrown at his head.

Why didn’t he beg his mother to take him to Paris with her? Why did he have to stay home? It wasn’t like he hadn’t gone on trips with her before. The highly successful and “infamous” fashion designer known as his mother had left for France 12 days ago. Heechul would have gone with her as he normally did but as he was in high school now, the woman insisted he stay behind to study, saying that trip would be a dull one anyways. He didn’t even bother suppressing the roll of his eyes when she told him such nonsense.

Study, please. As if she all of a sudden magically cared about that stuff. It was fashion week Christ sake. Fashion week was to him what Dreamland was to Jaejoong. In short, not dull. What was really going on was his mother was probably looking for an excuse to party and sleep with men only a few years older than he and since fashion week ended five days ago, Heechul was fairly certain his assumption had turned into a fact.

He loved his mother, he really did, but as he got older, he became more and more understanding of his father’s decision to leave the beautiful woman whose real age not even he knew. Personally, he still hated the man but he could sympathize.

_Ding dong._

His anger rose to a boil at the annoyingly chipper sound.

“HEECHUL! HURRY THE FU-”

“I’M WOKING ON IT!” He yanked the door open without even glancing at the screen to see who it was. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU-” He stopped short. “Jae?”

Jaejoong stared at the ground, lip between his teeth, and a toy frog to his chest. His black hair was a mess his pale cheeks were stained with still drying tear tracks making him look more helpless than usual. Heechul’s heat evaporated at the site. He felt like a royal ass for not coming to the door sooner.

“I-I-I’m s-s-sorry.” Jaejoong hiccupped, teeth chattering from the cold. He was wearing only a thin long sleeved shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. “I-I know i-it’s late but-”

“Oh my god Jae where’s your coat?” Heechul scolded bring the smaller male into his warm home. “And why didn’t you call or something. Heejin or I could’ve-” He was cut off by Jaejoong shoving the toy into his face.

“C-can you save him?” He begged with pleading eyes.

Heechul’s expression softened as he took the damaged thing out of Jaejoong’s cold hands. He’d never seen this one before but it looked worn and its arm was half off. Jaejoong took exceptional care on his stuffed friends, he would of never let one of them get like this. Something must have happened.  “Come on. I’m sure I have some lime green thread lying around here somewhere.”

Jaejoong smiled and took Heechul’s hand as he followed him upstairs.

\--

 

 

“She took everything?” Heechul asked as he stitched up Kero Keroppi’s arm.

Jaejoong just nodded from his place on Heechul’s bed; knees to his chest. “It’s all gone Cindy. It’s not even my room anymore. I don’t know what it is but I don’t like it.”

Heechul sighed, knowing how much the space meant to his small friend. The place hadn’t changed much since Jaejoong was five or younger but neither had Jaejoong for the most part so it was understandable. Him room was a reflection of him and like so many teens today, it was the only place where the boy could truly be himself without fear of judgment or someone yelling at him telling him he was wrong. Eunjin seemed to know this too for it remained the one thing she never took away from her son. Until now that is.

Thoughts of Jaejoong’s mother made Heechul a bit more thankful towards his own. Youngmi may be a loose party girl who had kids way too early in life and didn’t want to grow up but at least she loved him and his sister to death and never intentionally did wrong by them. He made a mental note to give her a call and check in on her. She could handle herself well enough most of the time but it was still good if someone had eyes on her. A job that uses to belong to his father.

Again, he was growing to understand why the man left.

“What did Su say?” He asked, knowing full well that Jaejoong would have called his best friend first. Heechul just recently transferred to their school so he was still fairly new to their trio. He and Jaejoong became quick friends but he and Junsu were still getting there. That being said, Junsu remained first in Jaejoong’s world. First friend, first to tell news too, first to go to when sad. Junsu was Jaejoong’s everything, a fact Heechul was more than fine with. Mainly because it meant he got more sleep than the soccer player but also because Junsu was better at handling Jaejoong than he was, i.e. Junsu had tact, Heechul did not.

“He’s not answering his phone. I think he’s busy wi-”

“Shit!” Heechul cursed when he studded his finger with the needle.

“Are you okay?” Jaejoong asked worried.

“Yeah fine. The shock hurts more than anything.” Replied a stunned Heechul.

Junsu wasn’t answering his phone? Sure he was known to screen calls from certain people but Jaejoong? Maybe when hell froze over.

If there was one person Junsu _made_ time for it was Jaejoong. Whether is was out of loyalty or his not so secret crush, Heechul wasn’t sure but that boy was never “busy” when it came to Jaejoong. Something was up. Jaejoong may be oblivious to it but Heechul wasn’t. He made another mental note to interrogate the other 33.3% of their group on Monday. No sense in upsetting Jaejoong any further with his suspicions.

He heard a sniff and turned in time to see Jaejoong roughly wiping his wet face with his sleeve. “I just don’t get it.” He sodded. “Joongie’s room was never a p-p-problem before. Why now? What did he do?”

Heechul didn’t have an answer and worse he had no way to comfort or console the sensitive male. He was never good with emotional stuff. Fake emotions sure, but real ones? He was lost. He tried to think before Jaejoong broke down to an emotional vortex of nothing. What would Junsu do? “Well,” He tried. “At least you managed to save this little guy right?”

His voice was way too cheery to be believable but Jaejoong didn’t seem too bothered by it. At least he stopped crying. “Oh no, Keroppi is different Heeminne, he’s special. I promised Yunnie I would take extra super good care of him and keep him safe forever. That’s how he got hurt. I couldn’t let mama take him too.”

Heechul relaxed as they entered territory he was more familiar with. “So the date went well then. You know it was good if you get the hot guy to buy you something pretty. And I don’t use date and hot guy interchangeably.”

Jaejoong giggled making Heechul proud of himself for getting the joyous sound of out of the once sad teen.

“Did I hear right? Did little Jaejoongie just come back from his first date ever?” Heejin asked, popping her head into the room.

“Jinny!”

“Hi baby!” The 18 year old exclaimed, pecking him on the head and handing him a mug of hot chocolate.

“Why are you here?” Heechul groaned, taking a second mug from her and setting it on his desk, _away_ from his very important work.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She chimed as she climbed into Heechul’s bed and snuggled up next to Jaejoong.

“So masturbate.” Heechul said flatly.

“That’s what boys are for.”

“Then call one of them.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. Their banter meant little as there was never any heat behind their words and the love was there. Their dysfunction was enduring actually.

“Shut up. Jaejoong wants me around, don’t you baby.” She said cooing at him.

“Give him a break. He already has three evil sisters.” Heechul said going back to his sowing.

“Cindy.” Jaejoong wined.

“Ignore him. It’s hard being the less pretty sister.”

“You would know!”

“Tell noona all about your date sweetie.”

Jaejoong giggled again. “It was perfect noona! Yunnie took Joongie all around the Han River today.”

“This time of year?” She asked aghast.

“I know, cheap right?” Heechul pointed out.

“So cheap.” She agreed.

“But the Han River is so pretty in winter.” Jaejoong tried.

“Joongie are you forgetting your mini royalty again?” She teased putting a hand to his forehead.

“I mean it. It’s perfect, especially right now. Everything is still frozen and icy but because of the sun it all twinkles like starlight just like in my books. And there were flowers too! Well only a few but still. It’s good luck to pick flowers in winter you know. It means spring will come to you earlier than everyone else.”

“Your brain really is made of cotton candy isn’t it?” Heejin commented after hearing him.

“Told you.” Added Heechul.

“Then what happened?”

“Well even though it was really pretty it was really cold too so Yunnie took me to this really cute café and he played buzzbee with me!”

“HAHA! You got him to play that stupid…” Heejin shot Heechul a glare. “I mean, very fun…word game of yours.”

“Uh hun.” Jaejoong answered happily. “And I won too. But I think that’s because he let me win.”

“It’s a question game you created where you can’t repeat any of the words said in the answer and reverse. Not that hard to grasp.” Heechul said rolling his eyes. “But if he played it, keep him. Lord knows when another will come along like him.”

“That’s when he got me Keroppi.” Jaejoong said, looking to his new friend Heechul was operating on. “He said winners should win something so he took me to a toy store and said we weren’t leaving until I picked something out.”

“How sweet!” Heejin said clapping her hands together.

“Then I came home. He offered to drive me but I said could take the subway.”

“Ooo and he has a car too, definitely keep him.” Jaejoong giggled again.

“Alright,” Heechul announced, pushing away from his desk. “All done.” He handed to newly fixed plush toy to Jaejoong.

“Keroppi!” He cried hugging the toy tightly to his chest. “I’m sorry Keroppi, I’ll never let mama hurt you ever again.” Heejin looked to her brother for an explanation. He just shook his head. Now wasn’t the time. “You save him Cindy, thank you.”

Heechul shrugged. “Whatever. Just make sure he gets lots of sleep on his lily pad okay.” He said trying to be playful.

“But Keroppi lives in mushroom house.” Jaejoong said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Then let him sleep there, I don’t know.” He shook his head and gathered up their empty cups to take to the kitchen.

“Do you wanna see a picture of Yunnie, noona?” Jaejoong asked excited once more.

“I would love to.” She told him.

“He’s hot!” Heechul shouted from down the hall.

She laughed while Jaejoong pulled out his phone and searched for a photo.

“Here noona, look.”

Heejin’s smile left her face so fast it was almost comical but there was nothing comical about the man taking a selfie with Jaejoong at some random coffee shop.

Unlike her brother, Heejin’s antics had landed her in an all-girls high school that’s prestige and name were just enough to cover up the fact that half its student body was well known for sneaking over to KU’s campus before, after, and _during_ school hours. Heejin knew that face, it was a hard face to forget. Especially when half you’re friends and even some of their brother’s had slept with the owner of said face. She herself had that name on her list for a while until one too many girls shared horror stories of what happens when you were stupid enough to get involved with U-Know Yunho. Seeing Jaejoong getting all gushy over a creep like him was not okay.

Heejin wasn’t a perfect older sister. Heechul took better care of her than she he, but to Jaejoong she was a good noona. He looked up and depended on her. His own sisters were either never around or too self-absorbed for him. Jaejoong needed her and who didn’t like being needed? She looked out for him, and hot or not, she was not about to let some well-known scum bag fuck around with him then toss him to the side when he was done. Jaejoong didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that.

“Noona, are you okay?” Jaejoong asked putting his warm hand to her forehead.

She smiled at his sweetness, something Jung Yunho should have nothing of. “I’m fine baby. Why don’t we go downstairs and see what Chulie is up to hm?”

Jaejoong nodded cutely. “Okay.” He climbed out of bed and held her hand as they walked down stairs to the kitchen.

Heechul had just finished packing the dishes away into the dishwasher when they entered the brightly lit place. "So you saw him?”

Heejin forced a smile. “I did.” She said, handing Jaejoong a cookie.

“And?” Her brother asked leaning against the sink.

She shrugged, trying to not show her true feeling in front of Jaejoong. He’d gone through enough for one day. “He’s alright.”

“Alright?!”

“Heechul.” She warned.

“He looked like every hot and sexy thing on earth got together, had an orgy, and he was the spawn. If Michal Angelo was Korean, all his nude statues would have been modeled after him- Oh my god can you imagine.”

“Keep it in your pants little brother.” She said rolling her eyes.

“How are you not into that? Don’t you and your band of whore dream of getting fuck by dudes like him? I’m sexually frustrated just by looking at him and I get constant dick!”

“I don’t think Hangeng hung would like it very much if he knew you talked like that when he wasn’t around.” Jaejoong chimed in, swing his feet for where he sat on the counter.

“Which is why we’re not going to tell him.” Heechul warned his small friend.

“Heechul please.” Heejin tried again, shooting her brother signals he ignored.

“When are you seeing him again?”

“Heechul!”

“I don’t know.” Jaejoong said sadly and hug his new (and only) plush toy tighter. “He was supposed to take me ice skating tomorrow but he texted me and said he couldn’t anymore.”

Heejin hated seeing Jaejoong hurt but it was better now than later down the road. “Don’t be so sad Jaejoongie. Besides tomorrow is Sunday and I’m sure you have lots of homework to do.”

“But I got all my homework done extra early just for him. I do have to see BoA noona tomorrow but that’s only for an hour in the morning. My whole afternoon is free.”

“Which reminds me, can I copy?” Heechul asked.

“There you go.” Heejin said. “You can spend tomorrow with Heechul and me. We’ll have tons of fun.” Heechul gave his sister a weird look but said nothing.

Jaejoong was about to answer but was interrupted by a yawn coming from his own little mouth. Heejin check her phone for the time. It was nearing one in the morning. “How about we all get some sleep, it’s kind of late. Do you want one us to walk you home Jaejoong?”

“He lives right across the street.”

“It’s late and it’s dark.”

“It’s literally a minute and 14 second walk. He’ll be fine.”

Jaejoong bit his lip. “Actually noona, if it’s okay with you and Chullie, can I sleep here tonight. I don’t wanna go home just yet.” He really didn’t want to face his mama or deal with his reality just yet. Pretending sounded much better.

Heejin simply smiled. “You’re always welcomed here Joongie, you know that.” She held out her hand for him to take. “Come on cutie, let’s get you into some of Heechul’s pj’s.”

\--

 

 

“Goodnight Joongie.” Heejin said softly from the door to the guest room Jaejoong was occupying.

“Goodnight noona.” Jaejoong said with a yawn. “Goodnight Cindy.”

“Night Jae.” Heechul answered from the hallway.

With one finally smile to his two friends, Jaejoong rolled to his side, Kero Kroppie in his arms, and gave in to his exhaustion.

“Okay, talk.” Heechul demanded as soon as Heejin closed the door to Jaejoong’s room. “What the hell was all that back there?”

“Shhh.” Heejin scolded with a finger to her lips. She headed in the direction of her room.

Heechul looked appalled and followed her. “Don’t shush me.” He hissed. “What’s gotten into you?”

Heejin played with the necklace around her neck, a habit both she and her brother picked up from their always absent but very caring mother. “How did Jaejoong meet Yunho, exactly?”

“At work last night I think. He came in with friends or something. Why? What’s wrong?”

“Just…keep an eye on him okay.”

Heechul snorted. “Don’t I always.”

“I mean it Heechul. Yunho’s not someone Jaejoong should be around. He’s bad news.”

Heechul gave his sister an odd look before his light bulb went off. “You know him.” It was a statement, not a question.

She stopped by her door and turned to face him. “I know of him. And I know more than a few girls, and guys, who’ve have what some might classify as a “thing” with that jerk.”

Heechul chuckled and continued on to his room. “So he gets around. So do you. So does mom. What’s wrong with that?”

“What do you mean what’s wrong with that? He’s a creep.”

“Because he has casual sex?”

“No because he in college and hitting on a high schooler. That doesn’t raise any red flags to you?”

Heechul narrowed his eyes at his sister. “How did you know Yunho was in college?”

“What?”

“I never said how old Yunho was or where he went to school. Neither did Jaejoong. How did you know?”

She scoffed and crossed her arms. “I already told you, I know of the guy.”

“So you slept with him.”

“What, no!”

“That’s why you don’t Jaejoong anywhere near him. He fucked you and he was bad. Or you were bad. Either or is possible.”

She rolled her eyes and walked inside her room. “Oh my god, forget it.”

Heechul laughed and closed the door to his room. He loved messing with his sister but she did have a point. What could a university student possible see in a 16 year old? That did leave him a little uncomfortable as he had seen first-hand what too much of an age difference did to couples. Three years wasn’t that but considering how Jaejoong was mentally closer to six than 16 it was enough.

He shook his head and crawled into bed. He’d give the thought more attention come morning. For now sleep was calling his name. He’d do as his sister suggested and keep an eye on Jaejoong but he wasn’t going to hover. The boy wasn’t that inept. He knew when the stove was hot and when it safe to touch.

Who knows. Maybe he saw something in Yunho no one else could.

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

Yunho collapsed after what had to have been his 30th lap around the university track. In the last three hours he had done 60 sit ups, countless push-ups, and more than a few chin ups on the high bar. He was covered in dirt and his body had produced so much sweat that as in rolled down his forehead his eyes started to burn from the salt. His arms were on fire and his legs felt like jelly; even as an athlete who was in better physical shape than most, he was still in searing physical pain after pushing his body far past its physical limits. And yet, even with the dehydration making his delirious and searing pain making everything hurt, he still pushed on. And he would continue to push on until he could get the image of Jaejoong’s perfect smiling and laughing face out of his mind.

_“Buzzbee! You can’t repeat anything I say remember Yunnie!?”_

Yunho started to laugh remembering the younger teen’s giggles. If flowers and clouds could produce sound, he was sure they would sound almost as beautiful as Jaejoong’s laugh. He hated himself for coming up with the analogy.

_“Yunnie look!” Jaejoong cried as he let go of Yunho’s hand for a minute to run and pick a random flower bursting from the otherwise dead ground. He ran back to Yunho’s side and stood on his tippy toes to put it in the college student’s hair. “It’s good luck to pick flower in winter.”_

Yunho slammed his fist into the earth and scraped his hand across the gravel. What had he done?

He forced himself to stand and make his way to the workout room. It was well after hours and the school was nearly dead but being the captain of a sports team gained him access to many things he otherwise might not have. That and he had a things going with the gym check-in girl. She made him copies of the keys.

_“Oh Yunnie you have to try-”_

“FUCK!” He screamed as he punched the unsuspecting punching bag full force.

_“Yunnie~”_

He didn’t stop punching, he couldn’t stop punching. If he stopped than he would think. And if he thought, it would be of nothing but the high schooler he met last night and took on a basic date he “set up” after Navering cute date ideas online. It never occurred to him until Jaejoong messaged him that morning that the first and only real date he had gone on was back in high school with some random girl he never really learned the name of and never got to sleep with. It was alright. Kind of boring but okay in the end.

Dates just always seemed kind of pointless and lame to him after that. Dating in general seemed kind of pointless. None of his “partners” ever hung around long enough for him to date and even if they did, he still wouldn’t slap a label on it. They were all just as messed up and full of it as he. He was kind of hoping Jaejoong would be the same but as he had learned today, after spending nearly six hours with the teen, his innocent good boy act wasn’t an act.

The stupid way he would tilt his head when Yunho said something his too young mind didn’t understand. The enraging way he would bite his lip when he was thinking about something. Even the stupid face he made when he was concentrating very hard so he wouldn’t fall off the fairly large stones he was balancing on, all served to do nothing more than piss off Yunho and give him a serious case of blue balls.

He punched the punching bag harder. What was he thinking? Going after a 16 year old with the heart and mind of six year old, it was sick. He was in university, a legal adult and that kid was so…so…sugary and simple and odd and naïve and-

“Shit.” Yunho fell to his knees and clutched his bloody fist to his chest. He both felt and heard a painful crack that forced him to stop. He leaned against the window and let the cool surface sooth his burning skin.

Who was he kidding. Today had been one of the happier days of his life since his parents passing. Jaejoong was perfect. He was sweet and kind and considerate and funny and had this infectious happy and light air about him that warmed even Yunho’s icy heart. Their date was pretty stupid in Yunho’s personal opinion but Jaejoong was so easily entertained by everything that Yunho could have taken him the airport and the boy still would have found something to do. And Yunho still would have enjoyed every second of it.

He’d do it again. Stand outside for hours in the freezing cold. He’d do it all again if that’s what it took to keep that radiant smile plastered on the boy’s perfect red lips. Jaejoong was the very definition of beauty, inside and out, and Yunho was supposed to destroy that.

Well not literally but the parameters of the bet were pretty clear. Date him, and if you still feel nothing, dump him. Yunho didn’t feel anything, _ever_ , so that could only mean that by the 31st of this month he was going to break the kid’s heart. And though he had done it several times before, he didn’t think he could do it now.

Things like happiness and joy and love and whatever other crap didn’t exist in _his_ world. They didn’t exist in a lot of people’s worlds but for kids, anything was possible. Wishes on stars and eyelashes came true and you could be a fireman or a doctor or a Pokémon trainer if you want because that’s how the world of kids worked. Pretty dreams and impossible fantasies were possible. Then reality sets in and with it the tainting of pure souls and dirtying hopeful hearts. Yunho never understood why adults worked so hard to preserve children’s innocence when they themselves would be the ones to paint it red.

People eventually grew up but it was like Jaejoong didn’t. And it was beautiful.

He was still pure, he was still innocent, he still believed in the impossible and fairies and magic and that toys came to life when no one was watching and that’s why it was so important to be nice to them he stressed when Yunho knocked a toy of the shelf and didn’t apologize to it. If Yunho could he would thank the boy’s parents for keeping their child so sweet and angelic but such a day would never come for Yunho had made up his mind that he was never going to see Jaejoong again.

He wanted to. God did he want to see the happy little thing again and make his smile and make him laugh and play his silly games with him and spent hour just looking at him. Yunho wanted to give the boy everything and then steal it away with a kiss and give it back again with his cock. He wanted to be in the boy’s life but he couldn’t. And that was his reality.

It angered him more than anything. The thought of another being with the boy. How many people would really appreciate the cute way he spoke? How many people would know how to spoil and love and care for the little doe? Yunho would, or at least he would learn and try to. That counted for something.

He smiled picturing those wide sparkling brown eyes staring back at him as if he was the most interesting and amazing man in the world. He laughed. He was none of those things at least not in the PG sense of the word as Jaejoong was probably thinking.

Yunho, though young himself, was tainted by the truth of the world. His little sister made sure of that. He was painted red with pain and blood and suffering and loss. He was never as pure as Jaejoong but he was a kid once too. He believed in the impossible, he made wishes on stars. It had been many years since those days but there was time when they, and his parents, were a part of him world.

But again. Reality set it.

Yunho wasn’t going to apologize for who he was now and he wasn’t about to feel remorseful for the things he’d done and lives he damaged either but he did have enough sense and heart to know that if there was still beauty in the world you didn’t go out of your way to take permeant marker and draw a dick on it.

Jaejoong was still an untouched masterpiece and while there was something so very erotic and fascinating about that, Yunho knew he didn’t have to right to be the first one to touch it.

Not with his dirty hands.

He was kind of glad he could tell if it was sweat or tears running down his cheeks.

“Yunho?”

The tired man turned to the voice that called him. Awkwardly standing there was the girl the made him a copy of the gym keys. Jinsul or Suljin or whatever was wearing tight black spandex shorts and a sports bra with a water bottle in her hand. Her hair was in a high point tail and she was wearing no make-up meaning that she was really here to work out and not look cute.

“How did you get in- oh right.”

He rolled his eyes at her. Why did he keep fucking her, she was a total airhead. He knew she and few other misguided health nuts came to the gym around this time but he wasn’t trying to run into any of them.

Yunho had thrown on some work out cloths and ran here after he canceled his plans with Jaejoong. He left his phone behind unable to read the child’s replay. He just wanted to blow off some steam, he hadn’t meant to stay here the whole night. It was still dark out but according to the clock on the wall it was nearing 5 a.m.

Never was he so thankful he didn’t have classes the following day.

“What are you doing here so early?” She asked.

He looked at his state and then back at her. “Jacking off.” He said flatly.

She giggled and he winced at the sound. She smiled coyly at him clearly mistaking his board irritation for flirtatious joking. She looked at him from under her lashes. “Do you want any help with that?”

He narrowed his eyes at her and then laughed. That’s right, she was one of the few that didn’t seem to mind being tied up too much. He stood and stocked over to her, a sadistic smirk on his face. He wondered how Jaejoong would look gagged and bound, begging for release, humping his leg like a bitch in heat desperate for some friction. And then those wide innocent eyes, he wouldn’t have a clue what was going on but he would look so very beautiful. More than the girl before him ever did. He placed a hand on her cheek and whispered into her ear. “Learn to give better head then maybe I’ll think about it.”

He then plucked the water bottle from her hands and left.

 

 

* * *

 

A/N 2: What do you think better? Do you like the new set up? Things have names now! I’ve decided that things are gonna be in parts since there is a lot to cover. Wish me luck.

Ya’ll are still gonna hate Yunho for a minute but I’m trying to give you guys a better understanding of him and some of the other characters in this story.

Love you all and see you soon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real quick, for those of you that don’t know, this is a prequel fic of my first story, I Never Let Go, so much of this chapter (and the rest of the story) will allude to things in that first fic. This fic can be read on its own but I highly suggest you read INLG first before beginning this one. Also I changed Jaejoong’s mother’s name and yes I will fixed it in INLG.  
> Enjoy :D


	2. Not Again (pt. One 2/?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case so you were wondering, I have decided to put this fic in parts. How many parts, I don’t know but at least until Jaejoong enters University. I’ve decided that will be another fic. You see how much I write, it had to be done!
> 
> Okay I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

 

**WARNING! Dubious consent.**

\--

~Monday~

Changmin did not pay any mind when the empty seat next to him in his more than a little dull calculous BC class was filled with another being. He didn’t even flinch when said being took a picture of his notes with his phone only to maybe read over them once and never touch them again until the final. He really couldn’t be bothered with such things. He was more concerned with making sense of the current equations and principals the professor was explaining (terribly) while cracking a dry joke or two that students laughed at out of awkwardness rather than actual humor. Once he placed his hunter green backpack in the chair, the seat next to him became little more than an afterthought. It would either remain empty (his bag didn’t count) or be filled within little more than 20 minutes of class starting. It was an 8 a.m. class. He was understanding.

“What I miss?” Yunho asked him, taking out a notebook and pen.

“Not much.” The younger of the two males replied not looking his way. “We got our tests back from last week. You got at A.”

“Nice.”

“But I was the curve.”

“Fucker.”

Changmin laughed and went back to paying attention to the aging man at the front of the room. Despite what people thought, the genius wasn’t magically gifted with intellect. He was very smart and learned things quickly but that was the result of long hours of hard work and dedication to his studies. He truly earned every grade he currently had or ever received. It was Yunho who could show up on exam day after only attending two class sessions and still get decent marks. Even now, he was drawing and had one earphone in playing mellow hip-hop or upbeat R&B Changmin couldn’t tell the difference. Yunho didn’t study. He didn’t need to and while there was a time Changmin was quite envious of his best friend he had since moved on once he realized that it was thanks to Yunho unwillingness to apply himself, he landed in the top spot in their high school classes and beyond.

The perfectionist in him liked that but the compotator in him wished that Yunho would work to his full potential just once to truly test just how good he really was.

“You have any water on you?” Yunho asked him.

Changmin dug into his backpack to fetch his water bottle. “You know you could just carry the empty bottle I gave you for your birthday and fill it up at any of the many water fountains around campus.”

“I was in a rush.” Yunho explained, taking the bottle from him.

“Liar. Shit man what happened to you hard?!” He wisped loudly.

Yunho took out a bottle of pain meds from his bag and popped two in his mouth. “Don’t worry about it.” He said just before taking a swig of Changmin’s water.

Changmin was uses to seeing his friend patched up. Yunho had a short fuse that when popped was expressed physically. In high school he would often come to class with Band-Aids in random places and bandages hastily wrapped around his arm or another limb. Since then he had gotten fairly good at first aid but Changmin could still tell that the injury to his left hand was pretty substantial. There was even blood coming through the clean white bandages meaning it happened within the last six hours or so

It was more than likely a work out injury but Changmin never cared much for the how with Yunho. It was the why he was concerned with. Eventually Yunho would provide the information the other sought because contrary to popular belief Yunho was shit at keeping things to himself. At least with the people he cared about that is. Which was a small list. Long story short, Changmin could wait. He was good at that.

30 agonizing and painfully dull minutes later, the class ended and the lecture hall quickly grew cold and empty once again. Yunho lazily rose from his seat while Changmin followed suit, packing away his few things.

“I’m canceling practice for the next few days.” Yunho said abruptly.

Changmin looked at his friend confused for a moment until Yunho raised his left hand. “Oh, right. So uh…”

“I fractured two bones, nothing serious. Same two I kept fucking up in high school. Maybe this time they’ll actually set right.”

Changmin merely nodded as he followed the other out of the empty, minus a few good and studious students, lecture hall, down the corridor and out the building. He could tell there was more to the story and had a feeling the why involved a cute dark haired 16 year old, but he could also see that Yunho wasn’t willing to provide anything more just yet. Again he could wait.

“Makes sense.” He finally said. “You want me to tell everyone?”

“Already put a message in the group chat.”

“Well look at you being a good and responsible captain.”

“Don’t get used to it.” Yunho said with a smile. “Breakfast with Chun?”

“He’s already waiting for us.”

“He’s such a shit for not having any classes on Monday.” Yunho complained, ignoring the few passersby waving at him.

“He has self-study and hey, we don’t have class on Fridays.”

“Yunho!”

Said man groaned but continued walking. “I think I’d rather his deal. I’d get into a lot less trouble that way.”

Changmin laughed as the girl who called out to the slightly shorter man caught up to them. “No you wouldn’t.”

They both stopped when a girl half a head shorter than the both of them blocked their path. “Hello, I know you heard me. Ass much.”

“My apologies Princess Jessica, but it’s so hard to recognize you without at least a bed or something beneath you.” Yunho mocked with a bow.

“I could say the same thing about you man whore.” She smiled.

“True but thank god in our society, I’m acceptable.”

“Are you two gonna be a minuet because I haven’t eaten yet and my stomach is doing the thing.” Changmin chimed in.

“Then flee nerdling.” She told her former high school mate coolly.

Changmin glared at her and looked at Yunho. “I’m going ahead, catch up when you can okay.” He looked back at Jessica. “Walking STD.”

She flipped him off as he walked away.

“Mins got a point.” Yunho said, calling the pretty girls attention. “This gonna take long?”

She adjusted the books in her hands and stuck out her hip. “You didn’t answer my phone calls.”

“Didn’t want to.”

“And my texts?”

“Didn’t see ‘em.”

“All weekend?”

“I was busy.” He said walking around her.

She turned and followed him. “Ah yes, with the 12 year old right? You really don’t have any limits to you?”

Yunho stiffened for a moment too long but recovered. He hadn’t talked to anyone about his date with Jaejoong and planned to keep it that way. Just thinking about it, Jaejoong that is, made him feel weird and horny. “No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Really Yunho. You’re gonna lie to me?”

“You make it sound as though you’re someone special.”

She stepped in front of him again. “To you I am.”

He smiled. “Now who telling lies?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just fess up Yunho. Hyoyeon saw you with the tween at J-Holic.”

“What’s it to you?”

She shrugged. “Nothing really, just curiosity. So was he any good or did you have to get him home to mommy and daddy before the street lights came one?”

Yunho shook his head. “Fuck off.” He said walking again.

“Oh come on learn to take a joke, but seriously a high schooler? Have his balls even dropped yet?”

Yunho smirked. “Green really isn’t your color Sica.”

She scoffed. “As if.”

“Awe, is someone butt hurt I didn’t answer their booty call?”

She flipped her hair. “I’ll admit I was a little surprised. You never denied me before. He must be marvelous at sucking cock for you to ignore me.”

Yunho eye twitched and his smirk grew. He stopped and narrowed his eyes at her. “Don’t flatter yourself so much Sica. You’re not as good as you think.”

She matched his eyes. “You’ve never complained.”

“What can I say? I don’t like working for my fix. When I need it, I like it cheap and easy.”

“And do you still need it? Your fix?”

Yunho continued to smirk. Since high school he and Jessica played this game of I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. She was fun and gorgeous and at one time Yunho seriously considered actually dating her. But she was more shallow than a puddle and didn’t know when to stop running her mouth. He usually had to gag her. They still messed around from time to time but other than testing out a new kink or toy on the girl, Yunho had little uses for her.

Also she was incredibly stubborn and that just didn’t work for him. He liked his submissives quick and compliant. Brats were fun but got annoying very quickly.

Still, she _was_ here and he hadn’t gotten any within the last few days (eight was considered a dry spell for him) but if he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t her he wanted to see aching for him. He wanted small hands reaching out to him, red lips whispering his name, wide doe eyes begging for release. He wanted to see pale skin go from pink to red to purple but it wasn’t her ass and thighs he wanted to mark.

He leaned in closer to her and gently held her chin. Her eyes fluttered shut as he turned her head from side to side as if inspecting her for flaws. She had none but they both knew Toney Moley and Missiha were to thank for that.

He ran a rough thumb over her bottom lip, smearing her impeccable make-up. She really was beautiful and he really was hungry but she just wouldn’t do. She wasn’t _him_.

He dropped his hand and left her in a daze. “I’m good.” He said, not bothering to look back at her red and angry face.

He really was a sick man.

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

~Tuesday~

Jaejoong sighed softly to himself as he stared at the little one next to each of the three messages he sent Yunho. They had yet to disappear. It was nearing day three and for the life of him, the little deer could not fathom why Yunho had not responded to him after what he thought they both though was a pleasant time.

His parents were out of the question so he tired asking his noona’s for advice. Jinhee didn’t answer her phone and Seonhee said she was busy and would have to call him back later. She never did. Mikyeon was of some help, until he realized she was drunk out of her mind and doing obscene things with a random man while on the phone with him. He loved her, but the youngest of his older sister’s was very strange to him. Almost like those girls on racy British TV shows if not eons worse.

Jaejoong watched a lot of TV thanks to Heechul and Heejin. They were addicts and Jaejoong could understand why. TV did for them what his books did for him. It was an escape and a world to get lost in and dream of. But Heejin liked really angsty shows with Americans that couldn’t act and looked nothing at all like they were in high school while Heechul favored weird British dramas were everything looked gray and the characters very sad. Jaejoong didn’t see where that was anything to dream about or what kind of escape that provided. He had enough sadness in his life.

That’s why he like old movies like Casablanca and The Philadelphia Story. Oh, and musicals too like Singing In the Rain and The Music Man. Those all such magical if not happy worlds with colorful characters and heartwarming tales. And he only read the happiest stories too. Ones about faraway places and pretty maidens who get rescued by handsome princes. He often found himself wishing that he was the princess and not the prince. He didn’t want to fight, he just wanted love. He kept most of that to himself though. Ever since he found out it wasn’t normal for boys to favor pink over blue he kept a lot of things to himself.

Jaejoong knew he wasn’t a princess but he liked to pretend he was. And he knew his life wasn’t a happy musical or a 1950’s American movie but he could dream, and dream he did. Of happier places and happier thoughts and of happier people and as funny it sounded, Saturday was the first time in forever his happy dreams and childish pretending weren’t better than reality. Nothing seemed…so far away and everything felt real. He wanted that feeling again and more specifically he wanted it from Yunho.

He sighed once more when he saw that his phone was not going to answer his prayers for the day and bid Keroppi goodbye (no way was he leaving his precious new friend at home for his mama to find) until the end of his next class and shut his locker. I was his lunch hour but as per usual for the wide eyed teen, he took his time in making his way to the lunch room. Heechul would be off in some abandoned classroom with Hangeng for a bit and Junsu (if he wasn’t out practicing like yesterday) would need time to find a decent table for their little group. Besides Jaejoong never ate much. He never had the stomach to. Maybe that was why he was so weak- _ump_!

He fell back on his behind and quickly apologized to his fellow schoolmate for so rudely bumping into them.

“Well if it isn’t JJ.”

Jaejoong felt his body go cold and his already pale skin lost even more color. His jaw started trembling as his least favorite voice in the world filtered through his ears. Why hadn’t he been paying attention to where he was going?!

“Awe is the baby hurt? Or is he just too thick to know when someone is talking to him.”

The yielder of the voice harshly yanked him up by the arm but didn’t let go. The older boy only sneered at him, all teeth and no gum, blowing foul air into to his face. Jaejoong gulped. This was why he never ate much. He would lose it if he did.

“Come on Kangin, you can play nice with the freak later, I’m starving.” The boy near him said.

“Yeah besides no one’s around, you don’t have to pretend you like him.” Another added.

_If only they knew._

Kangin winked at Jaejoong and turned around to face his friends. “Sorry guys but I gotta be a good hyung you know. Besides, I think JJ may have hurt himself when he fell on his little bum bum. I’ll take him to the nurse to grad some ice. I’ll catch up later.”

They shrugged and waved him off. “Whatever dude.”

“I’ll never understand why he’s so fucking nice to the freak.”

“Maybe they fuck.”

The two joked and pushed each other as they walked in the direction of the cafeteria.

_If only someone knew._

As soon as the two boys rounded the corner and were out of ear shot Jaejoong felt cold metal collide with his back, the neck of his uniform wrinkling under Kangin’s knuckle white grasp.

Jaejoong struggled for breath. “P-please Kangin, n-not h-here.”

The other smirked. “As if a freak like you wouldn’t be into that. Why didn’t you answer any of my calls this weekend?”

 _Because I hate you._ “I-I was busy.”

“Bullshit.” He slammed Jaejoong again bruising his already abused back. “And you failed to call me back because?”

 _I didn’t want to._ “I-I forgot. T-t-t-time essscaped m-me and-”

Another painful slam.

Kangin leaned in close to his face. “Oh JJ that’s a shit excuse and we both know that. And after everything I’ve done for you too. I thought we we’re friends.”

“Please K-Kangin, I’m-I’m s-sorry.” He whimpered when a tongue licked up the line of a fallen tear up to his shut eye. He felt he was going to be sick.

“You know I have to punish you right?” Jaejoong couldn’t stop the waterfall that was spilling from his eyes or the erection growing him his pants. He prayed Kangin didn’t notice it.

That too went unanswered.

Kangin grabbed it harshly and squeezed until Jaejoong had to bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out. “Don’t worry I’ll make it hurt. I know how much you like that.”

Jaejoong cried as Kangin dragged him into a nearby bathroom. He cried when the older teen shoved his face against the cold tile and cried until he was done with him. All the while his own dick was hard and leaking and if Jaejoong could see it he would glare at its betrayal.

He really was a freak.

Turned on the by the harsh manhandling of a boy he despised but most saw as his savior and hero. Hungry to the pain said hero, no monster, inflicted upon him day after day. Moaning as a cock he didn’t want inside him forced him open over and over and over again. He hated it but each time he found himself lying on the stall floor or rough ground beating off because of it, tearing streaming from his eyes like a sad cartoon as he bit his arm to muffle the sound of him cumming.

He really was a freak.

He didn’t want it but who would believe him? Those that did (his few friends) were powerless to help and those that didn’t (his mother and noona’s) didn’t seem to care and as he cleaned up his release from both the stall and himself with too thin toilet tissue, he understood why.

He didn’t even believe himself half the time.

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

~Wednesday~

_102…103…104…_

On and on Yunho went, doing one handed push-ups in the frigid cold for really, what else could he do with a messed up hand? He actually wanted it to heal this time. Why? He didn’t know or maybe he did but since he had shut down that part of his brain.

 _105…106…107…_  At 108 he collapse. He rolled to his back and looked up at the cold frozen sky. Pale gray clouds, with sun breaks here and there but never staying for long enough to heat up the earth once more. He wished it would though. Jaejoong would like more sun.

He cursed and rolled to his front to continue his unnecessary work out. He had run laps, lines, burpees, sit ups, the list when on and on. It was not for not though. There was purpose. A purpose that shouldn’t even exist but a purpose none the less.

Why? Why couldn’t he get the boy out of his head? He knew it was nothing more than lust; a hunger to conquer what was untouched, but it had been over four days. By now he should have moved on. He made his choice and he wasn’t going back on it. It was time to pick a new hole and get the fuck over the weirdly enduring little kid.

Why couldn’t his mind and his dick work properly?

Last night he went as far to hang around campus in hopes of finding someone worth his time. It was harder than it sounded. No one ever turned him down but Yunho was never the type to settle for just anyone. Even if it looked that way.

Eventually a cute guy walking out of the science and engineering library caught his eye and sure enough the guy was just horny enough and naïve enough to get his mind swimming with endless possibilities. They walked for a bit, talked for minute, kissed for a while and then came Yunho favorite question of the night, “my place or yours?”. It was a sure thing until something in him snapped and he told the poor guy to shove off. He ended up going to bed that same way he woke up; hard and alone.

He didn’t get it and so just like with any problem that stumped for long periods of time he took to the field the push his body past its limits to clear his mind. The only real difference was he had been at it for hours. Three to be exact. He had skipped his last class.

Yunho collapse again but stayed on his front this time. The cool ground felt nice against his heated skin and burning cock. He cursed Yoochun for the situation he was in. This was all his fucking fault. He of course had yet to tell his delusional friend of his current problem and he never would god willing but that didn’t stop him from blaming the music major for his tortuous standing. And Yunho preferred to be on the giving end of that torture.

A small part of him wanted to just give up and call the kid already. This would all be solved with a quick fuck right? It didn’t matter if he broke the kid’s heart or whatever, he didn’t care. Jung Yunho cared about coffee and liked three people (maybe), nothing more and no one else. Pretty and sweet 16 year old boys who looked like they walked out of a twisted Lolita fantasy included.

He wanted Jaejoong, god did he want him, bent over and begging; twisted and in pain. Had the boy been a little less pure, Yunho would have had no qualms in tainting him further. But the boy was pure. He was innocent like new born and Yunho couldn’t bring himself to stain something so clean.

But then again, when was the last fucking time he gave a shit about whether or not he was someone’s first? He probably had a long line of broken hearts and minds trailing behind him if he ever bothered to look back. He didn’t give a shit about any of them. What made Jaejoong so god damn special?

He groaned into the earth and imagined red lips and wide eyes and childlike giggles with the smell of cookies and sugar and cinnamon. It was heavenly. So heavenly in fact, he was sure it really did smell like cookies and sugar and cinnamon but that was just his mind screaming from lack of blood and oxygen.

Still he sniffed again and a new sweet, almost chocolaty sent made his mouth water. Baffled and fearing for what was left of his sanity, he lifted his head and turned it towards the source of his confusion. A small pink and white cup, like the top of a tumbler sat next to him, filled to the brim and steaming with a delicious smelling brown substance. He raised a brow at the randomness until a small giggle erupted his actions. His cock twitched (and something else pulsed) at the sweet tune.

He looked up and saw the raven haired pale face dream from his nightmares smiling down at him. It was an odd angle but he could see that Jaejoong was bundled up in a warm looking navy Pea coat with a thick and fluffy white scarf around his neck and over his mouth. He even had on matching mittens and hat to top off the adorable ensemble.

When he pulled down his scarf to reveal his happy smile, Yunho groaned again. There had to be a law against looking so cute and fuckable.

“It’s not poisoned silly.”

Yunho involuntarily flinched at the choice of words until he realized where he was and who wasn’t there. He closed his eyes than opened them again. “What?”

Jaejoong pointed a mitten covered hand, the one not holding a pink and white hello kitty tumbler, at the small cup to Yunho’s right. “You’re coco. It’s not poisoned silly.”

Another flinch but a faster recovery. Yunho looked down at the cup then up back at the smiling boy. “That’s a shame, I got a project due Friday morning that I haven’t even started yet.”

Jaejoong giggled again, coving his mouth with his hand. Yunho grew irrationally angry at the action. How dare the boy.

“Don’t cover your mouth.” He commanded in a think tone.

Jaejoong dropped his hand, looking more confused that fearful. “What?”

Yunho shook his head. “Nothing.” He stood up and dusted himself off. “What are you doing here anyways? Don’t you have school or-” He took the cup Jaejoong had picked up and handed him. “Something. Thanks.”

The younger teen smiled. “We have half days every other Wednesday. School finished at noon.”

“The hell kind of high school do you go to?” He asked before drinking the hot beverage. Damn. It was good.

“A western style preparatory school on the upper west side of Gangnam.” Jaejoong answered honestly.

Yunho looked at him like he was the strangest but cutest little boy in the world. Jaejoong smiled wider at him. Yunho bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t return the gesture. “Do you always answers questions so unnecessarily throe?”

Jaejoong blinked. “I don’t understand. How else should I answer questions?”

Yunho raised a brow and hid his chuckle with another drink. “Well alright then, answer my first question,” He finished the cup and set it in Jaejoong white mitten. “What are you doing here?”

Jaejoong opened his mouth then bit his lip. Yunho turned from him so the boy wouldn’t see his bulge. “Don’t you remember Yunnie?”

_Fuck, please don’t call me that._

“You invited me. You said Joon-I could come over and visit you at practice anytime I wanted.”

“Doesn’t explain why you’re here.” Yunho was proud of how cold he sounded. It was easier when facing away from the cute face that made even babies coo.

“Y-you…I got worried.”

“About?” Yunho asked whipping his face in a towel.

“Well you…you never responded to any of my text or calls so I thought something might have happened to you or maybe your phone. Like maybe you lost it or,” he looked at Yunho injured hand. “Got hurt?”

Yunho looked at his hopeful eyes for a moment. It would be so easy. So easy to just lie to kid, make him smile, and maybe get a blowjob or something as a reward. It would be so easy to manipulate Jaejoong and make him into whatever he wanted. As it was, the boy was halfway there.

The little doe was clearly a very trusting soul. A little slow perhaps but most certainly in need of constant surveillance. At least, in Yunho’s opinion. He would never let Jaejoong out of his site. Didn’t his parents warn him of the dangers of talking to strangers and older boys (they had to know he was twink)? Didn’t he have anyone looking out for him so that he wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands?

The expensive cloths told him yes, but that trusting smile and loving eyes told him that no one knew where the boy currently was. Or who he was with. Yunho would have even gone as far to guess that no one in the child’s life even knew where he was. That worked in his favor. When did he say he got out of school? Noon? It was nearing two now so that gave Yunho how much time until-

_No._

No. He made his decision. Bet or no bet he wasn’t to going to be the undoing of the last good and decent thing on earth.

He put on his signature smirk and he held up his phone in his broken hand. “Phone works fine, thumbs aren’t fucked, and it only takes about three taps to make a call.”

Jaejoong’s face feel and he looked at his pricy school shoes. “Oh. So…you didn’t call on purpose then.”

Yunho felt something in him stir but didn’t drop his façade. “Pretty much.”

He expected Jaejoong to walk away but when the boy didn’t he took his leave instead. Swing his bag over his shoulder and making his way to the main athletic building he usually parked his car near.

“Why?” A small voice asked.

He turned and saw the Jaejoong standing in the same spot, still holding his cup and mug in separate hands. Yunho ignored him and continued making his way to his car.

This time he could hear Jaejoong’s tiny steps following him. He turned around annoyed to see the sad doe eyed teen so close, he ran into Yunho back at the abrupt stop. He gulped. “Why are you following?” Yunho forced. “Don’t you have homework or something?”

Jaejoong bit his lip again. Yunho wanted to steal it from him. “I-I get you don’t want to talk to me. Lots of people don’t want to…talk to m-me but why did you make it look like you did?”

Yunho was not entirely fond of the way Jaejoong was looking at him; like he was a criminal or a monster or like…like he knew Yunho was lying. The graphic artist didn’t like that. No one, not even Changmin was supposed to be able to see through him.

He grew cold once more but this time not because he wanted to. Either or he was going to run with it. “Why do people do anything Joongie?” He philosophized. And cursed himself for using the nickname. “You do good in school because you want good grades right? Well people are nice because they want something in return as well.”

Jaejoong looked confused. “Like what?” He asked tilting his head a little.

Yunho dug his nails in to his good hand. “Every one’s different. We good-”

“What did you want?”

_You. All of you. In my bed. In my bathroom. Against a fucking wall._

“Doesn’t matter.” He kept walking.

“Like a present?” Jaejoong asked. “Like Keroppi? I’m taking very good care of him you know, just like I promised. Did you want a present like him? Because I can-”

“It doesn’t fucking matter Jaejoong alright!” He shouted spinning around quickly, catching the child’s dainty wrist before he could fall. He let go even faster. “It doesn’t matter. Now just…go home or something.”

Yunho ran a hand through his hair and took out a pack of cigarettes.

Jaejoong made a face. “Smoking is really bad for you know.”

Yunho inhaled and exhaled the tar and leaned against the side of the athletic building. “So is drinking and unprotected sex but I still do that three to four nights a weeks.”

Jaejoong didn’t laugh. Mainly because he didn’t get the joke. “Why are you acting like this?”

Yunho scoffed. “Like what myself? Get a grip Joongie,” _Fuck_. “The worlds not all sunshine and rainbows like you seem to think.”

“No.” The boy pouted looking more sour than angry. “I mean why are you acting mean.”

“Because I’m mean.”

“No you’re not.”

“Says you and like two other people, both of whom are dead so what the fuck does that tell you about people who think I’m nice. Lots of people don’t talk to you right? Well good fucking news for you. People are shit okay. People aren’t nice, Santa not real, and you never got your letter to Hogwarts because magic isn’t fucking real now bounce. You’re ruining my buzz.”

Yunho leaned his head back against the wall only to have his eyes snap open at the first sharp intake of breath. To say Yunho never made anyone cry would be the biggest lie in the world. He made of tons of people cry, alone and face to face. This however, was the first time something inside of him twisted painfully at the sound of sobbing.

He dared to look at Jaejoong who was crying profusely. Tears were cascading down his plump cheeks madly and the boy did nothing to stop them. He just cried harder. His sods were soft but something about that mixed with his baby face made Yunho feel like true and utter shit.

_What the fuck have I done?_

Jaejoong shouldn’t be crying. He should be smiling and laughing and giggling and playing with bubbles or finger painting stick figures. He should never be in tears, unless those tears came too many tickles or getting bubble soap in his eyes. And even then Yunho would want nothing more than to brush them away with his thumbs and kiss the boy better. But those thoughts confused the older teen and got lost in his anger and bitterness. Right now he just wanted the child to stop. Seeing him cry made him…confused.

He put out the fag and awkwardly patted Jaejoong’s face with his sweaty towel. “Hey,” He tired. He hadn’t done this in forever. He was bit rusty. “Stop, I’m sorry okay. I shouldn’t have yelled at you or said what I said.” Jaejoong wasn’t stopping. He dropped his tumbler spilling his delicious coco. “I lied. Magic is real and you probably just didn’t get a letter because Hogwarts doesn’t understand Korean.”

Jaejoong stopped for a second. “I don’t even like Harry Potter.”

“Really?” Well that was news to Yunho. Jaejoong looked like the type to make his own wand and play pretend.

The boy didn’t stop crying and the twisting in Yunho’s gut wasn’t subsiding either. He didn’t know that to do. He just wanted to see the boy to be happy again. Or at least tear free. He couldn’t handle the kid’s tears. It was just fucking wrong!

When Jaejoong let out a particularly long and pained cry Yunho lost it. He growled and pushed him into the side of the building. Hard.

Jaejoong whimpered. The tears still fell but his sobs had dulled.

“Stop fucking crying already! I’m sorry okay!”

Jaejoong looked at him with shiny fearful eyes. Yunho couldn’t looked away. “Fuck.” He cursed softly. Before he could stop himself, he smashed their lips together.

All teeth and tongue, Jaejoong struggled against him but that only spurred Yunho on. The little thing tasted better than he imagined. He was sweet of course and salty from the tears but there was something else there too. Like cinnamon or vanilla. The coco maybe? He didn’t know but he wanted more. So he took it. Prying Jaejoong’s inexperienced lips open further and angling their bodies so that he could have his fill. It wasn’t until Jaejoong went lax in his arms did he pull back to let the child breathe.

Jaejoong was hyperventilating while their eyes met again. Yunho, despite his chain smoker habits, was not winded at all. He gowned when Jaejoong bit his bottom lip.

“W-what are you do-” Jaejoong’s words were swallowed as his lips were claimed yet again.

This kiss was just as messy and just as desperate as the last. Yunho held him by the back of his neck and cupped one of his puffy cheeks, trying to suck the life force out of him. Jaejoong whimpered when the older teen bit his lip and sucked it raw. His eyes screamed for help when Yunho pushed him further in the building making his already bruised back burn in pain. A leg was forced between his small ones, kneeing his crotch. Jaejoong’s eyes grew wider as he silently screamed for the man to stop but he didn’t push away. Not this time. And he didn’t know why.

The significantly taller male detached their lips but did not pull away. He laughed sickeningly against the soft skin of Jaejoong neck, kissing and marking the boy as his. Jaejoong whimpered and mewled at the dark and commanding sound.

“Still think I’m a good guy? Oh baby doll, if you only knew.” He ran his nose along Jaejoong’s neck. “The things I have done. The things I want to do to this perfect little untouched body of yours.” He looked him in the eye. “They would make your mother cry.”

Jaejoong went impossibly red in the face.

Another bruising kiss. “You have no idea the kind of monster I am. I’m a walking sin but then again you’re a walking kink so maybe we do belong together.”

A tear fell from Jaejoong’s eye. Yunho just laughed and caressed his ear with his tongue. “Awe, you don’t know that means do you baby? Don’t worry. Yunnie will teach you everything you need to know.”

Another deep, head spinning kiss. “There,” Yunho breathed, running his thumb over Jaejoong’s swollen lip. “You’re getting better already.”

Jaejoong whole body started to shake but for reasons that were foreign and unknown to the doe. No one had ever talked to him like that before. It confused him. Terrified him even. But it also left him aching and hard.

He cried hating his body for yet again betraying him.

“You are so fucking gorgeous.” Yunho told him, catching his attention once more. “And you don’t even know it do you? You don’t know a lot of things, huh Joongie. You need someone to teach you, indulge you.” He roughly ran his over Jaejoong’s bulge. “Feed you.”

Jaejoong got lost in Yunho’s words; he felt like Alice falling down the rabbit whole into a creepy, twisted, beautifully dark world were kitties smoked cigarettes and the mad hatter was oddly sexy. It scared him but not out of fear; simply because it was unknown. And because he liked it.

He wasn’t supposed to like it was he?

He closed his eyes for a moment. Just a small moment and imagined what it would be like to never wake up from such a world. He pretended that _this_ wasn’t wrong and that he wasn’t sick and that Yunho was not just some ruthless man taking advantage of him. He closed his eyes for just one moment and let himself _feel_.

Was it really so wrong that that was all he really wanted? To not be so numb for once.

The feel of a cool hand on his bare and exposed hip told him that yes, it was.

His eyes snapped open to Yunho’s hand dancing over his too slim waist while simultaneously pushing his school pants lower and lower. His eyes grew wide and panic out shined the lust. “Y-Yunnie wait-” His protest were cut off by a dangerous chuckle.

“How cute. Do you always go commando? Or were you just hoping I would touch you?”

Yunho’s hand didn’t drift any lower than the sensitive skin that separated Jaejoong’s lower abdomen from the beginning of his supposed cock. The touch was so lite it almost wasn’t there but for Jaejoong it was the most pleasurable thing he had ever experienced.

He closed his eyes again and pretended.

Then he opened them and remember where he was.

“Yunnie…please.” He whispered.

“Hm?” The elder asked playfully. “What was that baby doll? Please?” He laughed. “Please what?”

 _Stop? Don’t stop?_ Jaejoong didn’t know anymore.

Yunho took his other hand and angled the babe’s face up to meet his. “I asked you a question baby doll? Please what?”

Jaejoong’s eyes opened and closed several times as he tried to get a hold of his breathing. The heavy sent of smoke and sex hung in the air but that couldn’t be right. He and Yunho weren’t having sex. Hell the man hardly even touch him. And yet he could feel his little member filling with blood from just a couple of pretty kisses and nasty words. Was he really that easy? Or just that twisted?

Was there a difference? Did he care?

He closed his eyes again.

Yunho’s fingers dug into his cheek and jaw making him both remember the man’s question and whimper in pain. “I-I…I don’t-”

“You don’t know, right. Let me help you then.” His hand dragged over Jaejoong’s wet face. “When people say please it’s because they really want something right?” He explained like he was talking to a child. The notion wasn’t that far off. “In my world that something is usually of the physical nature. Something dirty and messy and if done right, a lot of fun. But something tells me that you Joongie baby can’t even begin to fathom what the hell I’m even talking about therefore you’re adorable begging could only mean that you want big mean old me to stop huh?”

Jaejoong’s response was more heavy breathing. Yunho chuckled and kissed his chin, dragging his lips up to the boy’s slick and swollen lips. “But this,” his hand drifted lower. “Tells me otherwise.”

His hand twisted around Jaejoong’s cock in lighting fast vice grip. Jaejoong cried out in pain and tried to get away only to have Yunho push him further into the brick and uses his other hand to pin Jaejoong’s small and squirming arms over his head.

“Awe.” The predator cooed. “You’re so little. Just like the rest of you.” He gave Jaejoong’s length two long pumps and grinned as the child mewled and submitted to his well-trained hands. “You’re terrified aren’t you?” Jaejoong shakily nodded his head. Yunho leaned in close to his ear. “Good.” He pulled away and removed his hands away from Jaejoong all together. “Maybe now you’ll stay the fuck away from me.”

Jaejoong’s eyes grew even wider as he witnessed Yunho light another stick and walk away.

Confused and scared and bare the babe was capable of doing nothing else other than caving within himself and letting his tears run free.

He was so very sick.


	3. Fresh Start (pt. One 3/?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1: Because it has been awhile, I would like to say a quick hello and welcome to all my new and beautiful readers and subscribers. I hope you are all enjoying yourselves. Feel free to chat with me about…whatever. Silence is fine but reviews and kudos keep me going and make me feel loved.
> 
> To all my all my near and dear regular lovelies, thank you so much for sticking with me and supporting me. I have so much going on right now that I am…not well haha, and just having you all read my work and talk with me means more to me than you could ever possibly comprehend and I just want to say thank you and I love you.
> 
> A/N 2: I have no idea how or what happened but there is smut where there wasn’t supposed to be smut and I am not completely proud of myself for that. I apologize if it feels random and out of place. I’d take it out but since I know you are all as perverse as me, here it is.

(also, real quick, I wrote a [blog post](http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/1083949) that you should totally check it out when you finish this. Okay bye.)

\-- 

  

~Thursday~

14 hours, 36 minutes, and 19 seconds.

That’s how much time had passed since Yunho had last seen Jaejoong. 14 hours, 36 minutes, and now 20 seconds had passed since he had last left the distraught child crying on the frozen ground behind the athletic building at his University.

14 hours, 36 minutes, and 21 seconds.

That’s how much time it took for Yunho to come to the intense realization that he, was in fact what Yoochun always described him as; the biggest asshole on the planet.

How he had any friends at all was a wonder to him.

He turned and screamed into his pillow. It was that damn kiss! Why did he have to kiss the boy? He didn’t regretted it, not exactly, but kissing, though it never had before, complicated things.

Now in truth, kissing Jaejoong had been nothing short of amazing. It was exactly what, no, _better_ than what he had imagined and Yunho have a very “gifted” imagination. Jaejoong was soft and sweet, a little on the thin side but still oh so sexy. And then there was the adorable way he just stood there not knowing what to do, silently begging Yunho to teach him, mold him, create him. It was euphoric and had the elder not been so god damn “self-righteous”, he would have taken the boy then and there.

He’d taken a couple of people in that spot come to think of it.

He groaned and looked up at his ceiling. _Of all the days to gain a moral compass._

Aside from a little fondling, he really couldn’t help, Yunho didn’t touch the boy; another fact he didn’t regret as much as he might have. Despite what he wanted and normally would have done in said situation, Yunho, for once, fought against his urges for Jaejoong deserved far better than to be fucked into the side of a building out of heat and lust on a cold winter’s day. He deserved so much more than that. He deserved to be wooed and loved and coddled and kissed with a pillow under his head and soft sheets wrapped around his body. He deserved patience and kindness; things Yunho could not give him making the 19 year old, for the first time in the history of ever, regret something. 

Yunho knew who he was. He knew what he was, what that meant, and that he could never change. He had always been a shadow of who he was today. Even as a very young child, he was a very _physical_ boy. His late father was overly touchy. Despite being in his early 40’s and Korean, the man never failed to show his family just how much he loved and treasured them through several warm hugs and wet kisses that had them all complaining with a smile on their face. His mother wasn’t much different. Though she had a sharp tongue, she was very doting and warm. Yunho remembered even when they were home, sometimes he would just hold her hand while she cooked simply because it felt right. Living in a household that fluffy, it was hard to not grow up with a sense that feelings, especially that of like and love, were to be express physically.

He was only four when he first kissed a girl. He wanted to use the swings but they were all taken so he pushed what’s her name off. The young day care attendant, who shamelessly flirted with all the fathers that dropped off and pick up their children, told him how very wrong and mean that was of him and that he needed to apologize to the little girl. Yunho did apologize, though unlike the other children who forced out a halfhearted “sowy”, he followed the actions of his father whenever he had upset the Mrs.’s of the household.

Sadly unlike his mother, the girl did not seem very happy at the three second peck. She actually kicked him after words.

That, however, did not stop nor change Yunho understanding of how the world worked. He kissed people or hugged them when they made him happy, and refused to touch them when they made him mad or sad. To this day he still kind of pout when no one would come to kiss him in apology, though he got over the kissing part. Only Changmin would do it and only when he was _really_ sorry and wanted Yunho to stop being upset so they could play spaceman together.

Yunho’s undeniable need for physical affection followed him into his adult life. It was the only way he could express how he felt, the only way he could feel, even after his hearts hardening. He didn’t regret the amount of people he had kissed or slept with. Even if they were more out of the need to feel something or dull his hormones, there was still an ounce of care involved. With Jaejoong there was too much care he confirmed, and why that was he did not know. He blamed his firm belief in owning up to one’s actions and mistakes.

He made a baby deer cry, something was probably considered a crime in some countries. He should have kissed the boy again. Out of apology this time.

…He sighed and rolled on to his side in his bed.

His actions were despicable. Then again his actions were always on the despicable side. So much so that his conscience took to abandoning him all together long ago. The teen was uses to doing bad things to good(ish) people and walking away without a second thought. It was a gift. But today, after doing what he did, walking away was a very hard thing to do.

He failed and looked back a few times.

He wished he hadn’t.

It hurt. To see Jaejoong just sitting there, crying like that. I actually physically hurt but it was a pain Yunho was not familiar with. Like a never ending ripping of his skin or the constant stabbing of a knife to his chest, Yunho was in pain, and he knew why. To leave Jaejoong the way he had, to actually be the central cause of the boy’s tears and heartache, it hurt.

And it continued to hurt.

He sat up in bed and turned his head slightly to make out the greenish glowing numbers on his alarm clock.

4:18 a.m.

_Joyous._

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked into the connecting bathroom. Against his better judgement, he turned on the lights and waited the few painful seconds for his eyes to adjust. Once his retinas were no longer stretching, he turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up.

The small room slowly started filling with steam as he stripped himself of his cloths and unwrapped his hand from its stabilizing cocoon. He looked down and saw that he was half hard. He rolled his eyes. Sometimes he really wished his cock wasn’t so thirsty all the time. Not _everything_ got him going but there was little that didn’t make him twitch.

He stepped in to the hot shower and allowed the burning water to run over him, turning his tan skin slightly red.

He turned it up higher.

Soon the heat and heavy air made him dizzy and lightheaded. He hadn’t eaten since he left Jaejoong so there was that. He rested his head against the tile and chucked for no reason at all other than the fact that he heard a melodious giggle and wanted to join it.

_“Are you sleepy Yunnie?”_

Yunho cracked an eye open and smiled. “Well now,” He whispered in sleep ridden voice. “How did you get here?”

The foggy image of Jaejoong giggled and looked up at him with shy eyes. He was so perfect. All pretty and pink with flawless skin and dusty nipples. He was so innocent looking it was unreal but as Yunho learned from today and the previous Saturday, Jaejoong’s character matched his endearing looks.

Yunho licked his lips. “Come here.” He commanded.

The stall wasn’t that big but Jaejoong was so little and petite, he was able to take three measly baby steps forward.

Yunho wrapped his good hand around his cock. “Go on baby, touch it.”

Jaejoong looked from his swollen member to him. _“But I don’t know how.”_

Yunho grinned. “Then get on your knees angel. Daddy will teach you.”

Jaejoong giggled once more. Yunho closed his eyes and rubbed his cock raw, imagining Jaejoong’s hot little mouth trying to take him whole.

“Fuck.” He cursed.

_“Like this? Am I doing good daddy?”_

Yunho pumped body wash into his hand and tightened his grip. “Yeah baby. Just like that. So good. Such a good little cock whore.”

He imagined Jaejoong humming in response and rubbed faster.

“You wanna be my whore don’t you baby? Do you dream of gagging on my cock? I bet you do. I bet you stuff yourself with all kinds of naughty things pretending they were me.”

He opened his eyes. Jaejoong was back, face pressed against the opposite side of the shower, ass out. _“Please daddy. I want you inside me now.”_

Yunho growled and squeezed his tip. “I make the demands here baby doll. Not you.” He ran thumb over the slit.

In just a few more stokes Yunho was coming hard against the side of his shower. He kept up his brutal pace as he rode out his intense orgasm, never breaking eye contact with the image of the imaginary boy that captivated him.

_“Did I do good daddy?”_

“Yes baby. So good. So fucking good.”

_“Do you love me daddy?”_

Yunho closed his eyes for only a second but when he opened them once more he was alone, as he had always been. He blinked into the nothingness; the cooling water running over him, the boarding gray and white tiles covered in his dripping seed. It was just he and something about that made a part of him ache. He slummed against the wall and closed his eyes again.

“Yes baby. I do.”

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

Much to his dismay, around 6 a.m. Yunho found himself at school, before the sun, sipping crappy student union coffee out of a hello kitty thermos he found at the track. It must have fallen out of Jaejoong’s bag yesterday. That was the only explanation he could figure as he took the girly thing to the coffee shop on campus to fill it up. He earned a few stares but no one said a word to him. It was early. Everything was weird then.

Yunho adjusted himself in the bleachers as he waited for class to start. He still had around two hours to go but he’d rather be outside in the cold than stuck inside his apartment where he hallucinated and said shit that made no sense at all and was completely untrue. As it was, he was trying to forget the last couple of hours.

He was a dominant; a sadist, that much was very true. He had several common and not so common kinks that had become so imbedded into who he was, it was becoming harder and harder to find someone that met his standards and fulfilled his needs. He never thought he would become the kind of person where such thing played a major role in his life but as most aspect that made up the young man, it all started out of curiosity and a need to feel so in a sense, there was some logic to his more than a little taboo way of life.

He had a long checklist of yes’s, a short list of hard no’s, and almost no maybe’s for he was a very black and white human being. That being said there was one maybe that until today never manifested into anything more than a quiet fantasy and muted longing that only surfaced when he spent too much time with Kyuhyun and Ryeowook.

Yunho was lot of things but a daddy was not one of them. Nearing the top of the list why was that such a title involved commitment and Yunho didn’t do commitment, or rather he had yet to meet anyone he wanted to trouble himself with for more than a few hours. Even if some people claimed to have had a relationship with him, Yunho didn’t think two weeks of fucking equated to monogamous dating.

He took another drink of the bitter contents to scorch his throat and clear his mind. He really didn’t want to think on the topic anymore. Much like the subject of his parents, it was one he’d rather not allow into his consciousness. Not even Yoochun and Changmin knew that side of him. They had their guesses of course but they never asked him to confirm anything. They probably didn’t want to know anyways which he was more than fine with.

Yunho sighed and looked out onto the field. Some club was practicing. It looked like girls soccer. Only they took themselves seriously enough to practice so early. Personally, he was never a fan of the sport the rest of the country seemed obsessed with. He much prefaded ones where you didn’t get carded for pushing or “accidentally” tripping someone.

“How fucking cute!” He heard a girl shriek.

“Ew, Minyoung put that down. It’s probably got a shit ton of germs and stuff on it.”

“But it’s so cute. I even had one almost just like this when I was little.”

“Ew keep it away!”

“I didn’t know they made them this big.”

Curious, Yunho looked in the direction of the chatter. One of the girls from the soccer team was holding what looked to be a dirty old toy. As the other said, it was grotesque and coved in mud due to the harsh rain last night that carried on into today. It was nonsensical really, but Yunho and his not so awake mind swore patches of bright green and cherry red were trying to break through the muck. But that couldn’t be right. Jaejoong looked like the kind of kid who took extra care of his things so it seemed highly unlikely for him to carry it around, let alone lose something he made quite the show of being special.

“Whoever lost this is out of a shit ton of money. These things are super expensive.”

“Really? It’s just a stupid doll.”

“True but this one’s special edition. See that sticker on the tag. It means less than a hundred were made.”

“Damn, we better turn it into the lost and found then. Some poor kid is probably looking for it.”

Before the other girl could agree with her friend, Yunho had already snatched the dirty frog out of her hands and was walking off the field.

“Hey! What the-”

Yunho ignored them and kept moving. He dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed one of the few number he had memorized. He put it to his ear as he walked briskly to his car. He held back a laugh as the receiver only let the call ring once.

“Are you fucking insane? Do you have any idea what time it is?!” Kyuhyun half whispered, half yelled at him.

“We have the same 8 a.m. class idiot. You were already awake.”

“Ryeowook wasn’t! You know how he is when it comes to his sleep.”

“I’m aware. Speaking of the little guy, how good is he at getting out stains?”

“He’s shit. Why else do you think I have a book called ‘101 ways to remove 101 stains’?”

“Perfect. I’ll be over soon. I need your help with something.”

He heard the other grown on the other line. “You are so lucky I was planning on skipping today anyways. Let me know when you get here. And don’t knock with your giant hands. Ryeowook is the lightest fucking sleeper on the planet and the last thing I need is-”

“Daddy who are you talking to?”

“FUCK!”

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

There were days, no, weeks really, when Jaejoong seriously pondered on whether or not this life was really worth all the pain and misery it contained. The thoughts were not spawned by that of suicide but rather an inquiry if whether or not if it was just him and his self-loathing or if everyone else on earth had a life as bleak and somewhat meaningless as his own. Most of him hoped he wasn’t alone as anything else seemed unnecessarily unfair and flat out illogical.

He sighed as he looked out into the rain from the steps of his presumptuous high school, absentmindedly snapping his wrist with a rubber band. He was feeling downer than usual. It wasn’t the weather’s fault. He didn’t mind the long winter and actually rather liked the rain. It meant spring would be here soon and that meant flowers. And Jaejoong loved flowers. But on this day, and others like it, he couldn’t really find it within himself to be happy or even smile at the positive thought. Mikyeon or his mother or whoever was supposed to pick him up from school today and get him to work had forgotten to do so… Again.

He was used to being forgotten, or so he thought, but as he witnessed his many school mates getting picked up by various drivers and members of their families or even driving away in their own cars, the cold loneliness and feeling of insignificants sent his mind to a terribly dark place.

After yesterday’s horrid events, he been feeling quite icky and wanted some comfort. Sadly, according to Hangeng, Heechul’s on again never really off again boyfriend, the diva was home with the flu (a.k.a. a bad hair day) and wouldn’t be returning to school until he was well once again (meaning his perm had fully washed out). Hangeng had even showed Jaejoong some pictures that Heejin snapped and sent to him. That made the younger smile but it also meant that he wouldn’t have the colorful teen to talk his ear off and keep him company. And Jaejoong really needed some company.

He absolutely hated being alone. He was terrible at it. He was also an introvert that craved constant attention so there really was no helping him but point still made.

He sighed again. This wasn’t really about his friend leaving him to his own devices. He was lonely but that wasn’t the root of his negative mood. In truth, he wouldn’t be so down about Heechul’s absence if, as of last Saturday, Junsu, his only real source of anything, hadn’t stopped talking to him.

Jaejoong didn’t get it. What did he do wrong? Friday everything seemed fine and now it felt like the soccer played was doing everything in his power to avoiding him. He would pretend he didn’t see Jaejoong in the halls, look at his phone when he walked past him, and in the one class they shared together, the red head wouldn’t even look his way. The silent treatment was new for Jaejoong. He was more familiar with verbal abuse, he preferred it actually. At least it involved some kind of acknowledgement and a look into what he may or may not have done to warrant such distaste.

Moreover, Junsu was a very upfront person. He didn’t hide his emotions and never kept his thoughts to himself. The pair never fought because of this. Problems were always solved before they could arise and both males cared for one another too much to let anything to get in the way of their friendship. The thought of that changing, the unspeakable thought of no longer having his best friend in his life because of something he _did_ , it terrified the little deer.

He tried calling the boy, texting him too, but Junsu never responded. Jaejoong could only conclude that the other had to be extremely upset with him. He even went as far as speaking to Junsu mother in the hopes that Junsu may have said something to her. She looked very angry after he told her the situation but assured him that she would talk to her son as soon as she could. Jaejoong thanked her and went to Heecul’s house in tears.

The rubber band finally broke making Jaejoong’s bottom lip tremble. He put his head between his knees so no one would see him cry.

It really didn’t matter though. No one was around.

He was totally invisible today and Jaejoong wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. Not one of his classmates tripped him or made him drop his books or scared him or anything. Other than a nasty glare from Taeyeon, who always looked bothered by something, no one even looked his way. It was like he reached a whole new level of unacceptance where he wasn’t even worth the time to harass and bully. Even Kangin left him alone. Though the teen fingered the elder had chosen to skip school, as he so often did, since he hadn’t seen the upperclassman at all.

He sniffled and buried his face into his arm. To make matters worse, he lost his limited addition Hello Kitty thermos and Kero Keroppi too. The toy much have fallen out his bag when he was leaving Korea University last night. He considered running back to the track to search for his little friend but after remembering Yunho’s words, he decided against it. The man made it very clear he didn’t even want to _see_ the boy.

A soft sob shook his body as he remembered yesterday.

He was so sure the other liked him. He even kissed him and people only kissed other people they liked or cared about right? That’s how he knew his mama loved him and Kangin did not. It was his first kiss ever though stolen, he couldn’t be happier with who the thief was. It was hard and messy and tasted like nicotine and coco. It left his body warm and confused but he liked it. A lot. He knew he wasn’t supposed to and that he should have struggled harder against Yunho’s hold, especially when the man put his hand down his pants, but he didn’t and he only wanted more.

He was such a freak.

A harder sobbed wrecked his small form.

What was he doing wrong? His classmates had their reasons for disliking him but a complete stranger? Yunho didn’t even know all the terrible things about him yet. It was like he could just sense the freak on him.

But Jaejoong was trying, he really was. He was going to his meeting, he was listening to his doctors and to his mama, and he was doing well in school and getting perfect grades. He was even stuttering less and learning to quiet the very weird things about him. That had to count for something right? It had to because if it didn’t, so many people wouldn’t be pushing him to do those things and be someone he didn’t feel he was in the first place.

They were supposed to make him normal; to make him more liked and help him. All the people his mother dragged him to, all the pills he was forced to take, the job he was made to work, it was all supposed to help him. Even Kangin was supposed to help him in a sense.

But none of it was doing anything other than make him very miserable and painfully sad.

In truth, Jaejoong didn’t care about things like college or grades but people said that he was supposed to so he studied hard and set his sights on the best in the nation. He didn’t like hospitals but his mother wanted him to become a doctor so he choose the health and human services pathway in school and concentrated on biology and anatomy. He absolutely hated Kangin but his family love the man and praised him so he stopped complaining about the treatment and learned to apply make-up to conceal his wounds.

What he did like was loud pop/rock music and stuffed animals and taking shots of soju with Heechul until he was dizzy and couldn’t think. And he _really_ liked wearing dresses and skirts from time to time but after his father screamed at him for nearly an hour when he was seven because he wanted to wear one to school, he learned that that, and all the rest of his “poisonous” thoughts were to be put in a lock box, and never opened again. He still did thought. Open the box he meant. But only when he was alone or with people that wouldn’t laugh or yell at him.

Maybe that was why Yunho didn’t want to see him again. Jaejoong had opened the box around him and did a bunch of stuff he wasn’t supposed to do like get giddy over stuffed animals and pick flowers to make pretty crowns out of. He did other stuff to like talk about his love of sweets and fascination with tattoos. Those things weren’t as bed but he had a feeling they were still on the list.

He was naughty and skipped his extra lessons opting for spending the day with a handsome man older than he and unleashing the part of him that he was always told to hide. It was magical, he was spinning, and for a few blissful hours he pretended that all that existed was he, the sun, and Yunho.

He cried a little harder as the rain rolled on.

Who was he kidding? He was a freak, and maybe in movies and musicals and fairy tales that was okay but his life was none of those things. There was no happy ending on its way, or prince charming coming to save him. There would be no big musical number with a declaration of love mixed in it. That didn’t happen in real life. And though Jaejoong was more convinced he was existing in a nightmare more than anything else it was still his reality. And until he was well it wasn’t going to get any better.

He was trash. And really who wanted trash.

_Clink._

The tiny sound startled his sensitive ears making his head jerk up. He wiped his nose and eyes on his wool coat sleeve and saw the top of his Hello Kitty thermos steaming with hot coco sitting right next to him. He was about to wonder how it got there when something so much more important stopped his tears and made his face break into a huge smile.

“Keroppi!” He nearly shouted, hugging the seemingly unharmed stuffed toy tightly to his chest. “Oh Joongie thought he lost you forever Keroppi. He’s so sorry he left back there. He should have gone back for you, he knows he should have. I’m sorry. Please forgive me Keroppi, it’ll never happen again. I promise.”

“I think he believes you.”

Jaejoong’s head shot up. His doe eyes went impossibly wider as he stared up at the last person he thought he would ever see again.

Yunho stood before the child, umbrella overhead, cursing Kyuhyun for convincing him to do this. This was a horrible idea, he knew he should have lied to the gamer. He felt awkward under the gaze of the child and pissed at himself for feeling so but he had already made his presence known and with no other options stuck to the plan and smiled at the boy. “Um, sorry I couldn’t find the same stuff you got me, but I got you what I used to drink as a kid. Hope you like it.”

Jaejoong said nothing and continued to stare at him wide eyed in response. He was so confused.

And happy.

And scared.

Yunho shuffled with his umbrella and scratched the back of his neck. Awkward was a new feeling to him. Was this what all kids went through in high school? He was glad he was to angsty and angry to feel anything else back then. He opened his mouth to speak when-

“How did you know where to find me?”

Yunho froze. “Uh, it is a school day. And surprisingly there aren’t not too many western style preparatory high school in Gangnam.” He said uncomfortably. He left out the creepy detail that he visited three other schools before finding the right one. Also Kyuhyun’s fault.

“Oh.” Jaejoong responded with an unreadable expression. “I didn’t buy the coco I gave you by the way. I made it.”

“Of course you fucking did.” Yunho said under his breath.

“What?”

Yunho shook his head and pinched his brow. “Nothing, listen um, I don’t ever do this so I’m gonna be shit at it but bear with me okay?”

Other than blinking, Jaejoong was silent and still.

Yunho took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I was a dick to you and I shouldn’t have said what I said to you or kissed you or done any of what I did and… I’m sorry.” He looked Jaejoong in the eye and hoped he sounded sincere because, for once, he was.

Yunho didn’t apologize often, not since his father was no longer there to tell him that the mark of true man was his ability to fix his mistakes even if he couldn’t see the flaws. He was rarely really and truly sorry and even when he was he swept his feelings under the rug and waited for the other to either forget about the incident or ask _him_ for forgiveness. That wasn’t going to happen with Jaejoong clearly. He terrified the kid and for some gut turning reason, he wanted to change that. Kyuhyun helped him realize that. He didn’t like the realization but he just gonna have to learn to live with it. Somehow.

Jaejoong felt the little bit of hope inside him he didn’t know were growing, die. “You-you didn’t mean to kiss me?”

Shit, Yunho was not prepared for this. “Um…no?”

Jaejoong looked like he was ready to cry.

 _Fuck_. “I mean, I did! I did mean to kiss you just…not like _that_.”

Jaejoong blinked back unshed tears. “Then how did you mean to kiss me?”

 _Fuuuucckkk._ Yunho ran a hand through his hair. He could hear Kyuhyun in the back of his head screaming at him to be honest. “Okay, I did mean to kiss you like that but…”

Jaejoong was looking at him intently. Yunho sighed. “Fuck it. Look I’m not gonna bullshit you. I’m not the guy you went out with on Saturday. That guy is great but he’s not me. I’m the kind of guy you meet at a party, fuck, and if you happen to see me again you pretend like you didn’t because I probably made you do some weird shit. I’m angry and I’m horny and I can’t _believe_ I am even fucking saying this right now!”

Yunho growled and ran his hand again though his already messy hair. He looked at Jaejoong and sighed. He just wanted to kiss the boy again, get lost in his warmth and softness. But he needed to do this. If he had any hope of getting to do anything with Jaejoong ever again he needed to do this.

“I guess,” He went on. “What I’m trying to say is, I was a dick to you because I like you but I know I can’t be with you and that pisses me off. I’m not the kind of guy you should be around and,” Yunho looked down at his feet, something he hadn’t done in years. “And I just came here to give you back your stuff and to apologize. You can go back to hating me now.” He turned and started walking back to his car.

Jaejoong looked from the toy in his arms to the man walking away from him. He didn’t want Yunho to leave yet. He wanted to pretend. He wanted to dream. He wanted smoke and mess and roughness and…he didn’t want the man to go.

“Wait.” He begged softly. “Please don’t go.”

Jaejoong’s voice was barely above a whisper but Yunho was already wrapped up in his little call that he could hear him clear and above the heavy rain. He stopped and turned back around. “What?”

Jaejoong bit his lip. “I-I don’t hate you. I don’t hate anyone or anything. Hate is icky and a lot of work so…I don’t do it.”

Yunho chuckled. “Hate is icky. That’s a new one.”

Jaejoong smiled softly. “When y-you said you were s-s-sorry I-I…I got sad because…because I-I thought you were saying you d-didn’t like me. I-is that true?”

Yunho couldn’t understand what the child was asking. And not just because of the stutter. “Is what true?”

“T-that you don’t like me. It’s okay if you d-don’t. N-not a lot of people do but...” He buried his face in the toy frog. “Joongie really hopes you’re not like them.”

More of the ice around Yunho’s heart melt. Something told him the boy wasn’t exaggerating and that both angered him and made him want to comfort the boy. Looking more at Jaejoong’s small trembling form he was starting to notice things he hadn’t the two other times he saw him. His unique appearance aside, he didn’t speak like a normal teen. The soft baby voice that had either yet to develop or was just naturally gentle, fluctuated between something fake and the one he heard Saturday. He had a stutter too that came with the fake voice and went away when he was being what Yunho assumed to his real himself. He also curled in on himself the more he spoke, like he was ashamed of the things he was saying or who he was.

Or because was _told_ to be ashamed of those things. That feeling Yunho knew all too well.

Then there was his attachment to the toy, like it was the only one he had, and Yunho was willing to bet everything he owned that it, in fact, was. That’s why he carried it around with him. It was his way of protecting the thing because for him, it was more than just a toy.

Everything about Jaejoong screamed different, _little_ , and even in a school such as the one he was attending, he was not an acceptable kind of different. Yunho didn’t miss the welts on his wrist either. He saw them last Friday night too but hoped it wasn’t a common thing. It was. And something told the former angsty teen that if he ever did get Jaejoong naked, his skin wouldn’t be flawless.

Yunho, while cold, was not heartless. He was in high school once too and unlike (or like) Jaejoong, he didn’t have anyone to help him through it. He gave into his hate and anger and eventually, it consumed him. He started (and ended) many fights but he was never a bully. He kept his eyes on people his size or larger and every so often stepped in when he saw one of the smaller students getting picked on for longer than he liked.

That was how he meet Yoochun actually.

Yunho was not a good guy but he was decent enough to not senselessly harm others just to build himself up. He has his own selfish reasons but Yunho didn’t consider what he did a form of bullying.

From the way Jaejoong talked, it sounded like a LOT of people used him for self-affirmation.

That wasn’t okay.

Yunho walked the short distance back to Jaejoong, placed two long fingers under his chin, just like before, surprising the little thing, and smiled at him.

“I will never understand.” He said, running his hand up and down the boy’s damp cheek. “Why the world makes such beautiful things only to watch them suffer and burn.”

Jaejoong sniffled and stared at the man with wide eyes. It was like a switch was flipped and gone the confused and irate college student and in his place was the dream worthy man he went out with Saturday afternoon. His little heart fluttered followed by his eyelids and before he could stop himself, not that he wanted to, he was leaning into Yunho’s gentle touch, whishing and praying that whether it was a dream or, no one would be so cruel as to wake him up.

He wanted to pretend. He wanted to dream. Was that really so wrong?

The rain started to let up.

“Come on baby doll.” Yunho whispered after sometime. “I’ll take you home.”

Jaejoong could almost giggle at the strangeness of the man’s offer.

He was already home.

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

If there was one thing Yunho could tell about Jaejoong from just looks alone, it was what kind of economic status he and his family held. In the now four times he saw the boy, he was always dressed in rather expensive looking cloths and shoes. And, Yunho learned today, he attended a prestigious high school that one did not get into on grades and merit alone. The boy was also often (unintentionally) drawn to the more “pricy” items around him but lots of people were like that and Jaejoong wasn’t materialistic by any means. However, it was clear to the 19 year old that Jaejoong liked nice things and shopping for nice things and that was hard hobby to have if you came from a household that looked for one plus one deals or checked the price of milk before buying it. His originally theory that the deer lived above his means, like so many other people but after seeing him yesterday, and today, the college student now knew that the boy was not without a substantial amount of disposable income.

In short, Jaejoong was so rich it was almost comical of how verbatim it was to a plot device in an SBS k-drama.

This knowledge should have, and to some extent did, prepare Yunho for what was to come next when he offered to drive Jaejoong home. His address was, after all, in one of the more “upscale” suburbs of Gangnam and his school was not in a shady place either. Still, the artist was not ready for the sight before him that Jaejoong called home.

He tried not to show his astonishment with the large mansion too much for he knew it would make the little thing terribly uncomfortable but it was hard not to when one thought of how small of a country South Korea was and then these people built _this_ monstrosity.

What did Jaejoong’s parents even do? Yunho remembers the boy mentioning something about his mother being an interior designer but that didn’t pay that much did it? Maybe she worked for celebrities or something. Yunho closed his eyes feeling a massive headache coming on at the thought.

“Um,” Yunho turned his head to face the tiny, fidgety thing in the passenger seat of his car. “T-thank you for the ride.”

“No problem.” He stated easily enough, turning off the engine.

Jaejoong smiled at him.

Yunho tried to return the innocent gesture but ended up grimacing at the child for he was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from doing anything else he wouldn’t regret but all the same shouldn’t do. It was hard enough keeping his focus on the rode with the darling deer so close and smelling of cookies and sugar.

Literally, Jaejoong smelled like a bakery at 5 a.m. Yunho didn’t even think that was possible.

Aside from Jaejoong’s muttered directions that Yunho was still amazed he heard, the drive to the boy’s home had been long and silent. During the moments he wasn’t too distracted by his own raging hormones, Yunho pondered on the question of why Jaejoong had been sitting on the front steps of his school in the first place. Most teens would have been inside studying or at some other extracurricular activity but Jaejoong was just sitting there, like he was waiting for something. His ride maybe? It wouldn’t be a far off thought. He lived rather far from school and the area was without subways or frequent buses. Someone had to drop him off each morning and pick him up at the end of the day.

So why didn’t they?

Yunho shrugged it off, figuring he was just overthinking things from the lack of nicotine in his system. He desperately wanted his legal addiction but since even just reaching for the pack sent Jaejoong into a rant about the dangers of cigarettes, he was forced to settle for the heavy sent that was imbedded into the fibers of car to calm his senses.

It wasn’t working. There was too much tension and frustration and sweetness in the air.

The smoke could only hope to be as suffocating.

The soft shuffling of Jaejoong getting his coat and the rest of his things from the backseat brought Yunho back to reality.

The elder searched for something to say. He had to say something right? He couldn’t just let Jaejoong leave without saying anything. What if he never saw the boy again? What if this was their last meeting? What if… Wait.

Wasn’t that the plan all along?

Bet long forgotten and Kyuhyun’s words ignored, Yunho had made up his mind. He was only going to return the boy his things, apologize, and then never see him again. It was for the best, he concluded, and since he didn’t _have_ anything with the child to begin with there was nothing to break off or miss. He still wanted Jaejoong sure but it just couldn’t be and now it was time to go their separate ways. But as Jaejoong opened his door to leave and walk away from Yunho forever, the elder found that he really wasn’t content with that option.

He was afraid actually.

Yunho was not without his fair share of fears but they weren’t irrational. More unconventional if they must be categorized. He feared he would be the one to bury his friends first. He feared that his sister would come back before he was ready to face her. And he feared that like his aunt, the time would come were nothing would be able to make him feel anything worth his breath anymore.

Right now, at that moment, a new unconventional fear was being born. More than anything, Yunho feared that he really did have nothing with the child and that this really _would_ be the last time he saw the boy’s happy little face again.

He didn’t think he could live with that. Thank god it was a fear he could control.

Like so many things in life, there was no rhyme or reason to the reason. There was no explanation to be given, nor tale to be told, or backstory to unfold. Things were, as they were. Whatever it was just was and though Yunho was a man of reason and sense, he was beginning to see that somethings, whether you like it or not, came without cause.

Yunho didn’t have a reason as to why he didn’t want to return to his own empty apartment just yet. He was without explanation for why he was unable to get thoughts of the enduring child out of his mind despite his many efforts to do so. And if one were to ask, they would be left in the dark because Yunho had no answer to share for why it was a girly 16 year old boy that warmed his cold heart and gave him something to both fear and care about.

Now _that_ , was irrational because there in fact was a reason or story to tell. Yunho just couldn’t (or rather didn’t want to) see it yet. Kyuhyun did but again he was ignoring Kyuhyun for now.

“Wait.” He blurted out catching Jaejoong by the forearm. His whole hand wrapped around the tiny limb. That both worried and aroused him.

Jaejoong, confused and held in a vice grip, closed the door and settled back in his seat. Yunho dropped his hand and placed it back on the steering wheel.

“Y-yes?” Jaejoong asked looking up at the man.

Yunho gulped.

Yet another unhealthy trait that followed him into adulthood; his selfishness. As a child, he was horrid at sharing his items. He pouted every time his younger sister asked to play his Gameboy, was downright angry every time a schoolmate (aside from Changmin) ate his food without asking, and if friends (Changmin included) came to visit, there was an unspoken rule that they should bring their own toys because Yunho was not going to let them use his.

Yunho was a very selfish and very sick man. He knew he would be the destruction of Jaejoong. The doe was too soft and sweet and yet here he was refusing to let the boy go. He tried to but look what happened. Not having Jaejoong may be better in the long run but right now all it did was hurt the severely damaged man further.

Was it really so wrong of him to just give into his selfishness? Was it really so fucked up to say to hell with reason and logic and choose to suffer the repercussions later? And was he really so delusional to believe that, maybe, Jaejoong wanted him too? If that were the case, who was he to cut the rope?

Ironically, the male could feel his own synthetic fibers snapping one by one.

Jaejoong grew uncomfortable in the silence. “Um, i-is everything okay? I- I’m sorry you had to come out all this way, I really should have told you how far I lived. I don’t even know where you live so I don’t know how far this puts you out but I’m sure it’s far and-”

He was cut off by a kiss.

Jaejoong tensed. Then relaxed. Then allowed his eyes to fluttered shut and his mind to lull into nothingness.

Another kiss.

Another earth shattering, heart stopping kiss.

He couldn’t breathe.

He didn’t want to.

He wanted to pretend.

Yunho held Jaejoong face carefully this time and moved his lips in a way that even the babe and his inexperience lips could keep up with. The kiss wasn’t at all like the last one they shared. It was slower…softer…sweeter. Everything Jaejoong’s first kiss should have been and Yunho had a feeling that he was the boy’s first kiss. That made him groan.

Jaejoong whimpered giving Yunho the opportunity to slip his tongue past the boy’s plum cherry lips and into his warm channel.

Candy and chocolate and cookies and sin. That was all Yunho could taste as he ran his wet muscle over Jaejoong’s timid one; taking more from the boy than the other knew he was giving, or even how to. But that didn’t matter. Yunho would guild him. He didn’t mind being a teacher.

Yunho’s hands drifted to Jaejoong’s trembling ones at his chest. “Like this baby doll.” He whispered against the child’s lips and gently placed the boy’s arms around his neck. “Okay?” He asked sweetly.

Jaejoong gave a shaky nod against the others forehead making the man chuckled as he claimed his lips once more.

Slow. So agonizingly slow. Jaejoong was dizzy they were moving so slow. But he wasn’t complaining. He wouldn’t dare. There was something so…nice about how slow they were moving. It was like time stilled and instead of telling them to hurry up and get on with it, it encouraged them to take their time and savor every sweet millisecond because there was no telling when the hands would start moving again.

One of Yunho’s hands slipped under his school sweater and was working on undoing a few of the buttons of his uniform shirt. Jaejoong didn’t even think to stop him. Not this time. He was pretending.

He gasped when Yunho’s warm hand lightly brushed over one of his hardening nipples. He heard, no, _felt_ the man chuckle deep within his throat.

“So sensitive.” Yunho hummed, moving to make use of the boy’s delicate neck. “I like that. Sensitive boys are _sooo_ much to play with.”

Jaejoong didn’t know what that meant and even he did, his mind was too out of whack to find the file. He kept his weak arms around Yunho’s neck as the other bit and sucked at his neck, making him lose control of his breathing and his face flush an appealing shade of pink. His back was pushed further into the car door as Yunho invaded more of his personal space. Eventually the man was out of the driver’s seat all together and held Jaejoong securely in his lap.

Jaejoong’s back was now pressed into the glove box, hitting a bruise or two but there were so many sensations running through his little system that it was more of a dull discomfort than out right pain. He even felt his toes curl in his wool socks when Yunho sucked a particularly sensitive spot near his ear. He kept letting out tiny moans that he failed to swallow. He wasn’t given time to feel embarrassed though as Yunho pinched and twisted his tiny nubs.

It felt so good. Too good. He didn’t think the touch of another could ever feel this good.

He almost didn’t miss the pain.

Yunho let go of a patch of his skin with hum and a pop. “You know why I absolutely hate winter.” He husked. Jaejoong blinked, hoping the man didn’t expect an actual reply out of him. “Too many damn layers. Makes my job more difficult.”

Jaejoong keened as Yunho licked a long strip up the side of his neck and along his jaw. It was dirty and sick; animalistic and wrong.

He loved it

“Yunnie…p-please.”

Yunho chuckled and pecked his lips. “There’s that word again. Do you know what you’re asking for this time little one? I don’t think you do. I think the baby still needs some guidance.”

Jaejoong whined when the other lightly scraped a blunt nail over one of his nubs.

He didn’t know what he was asking for, true, but whatever it was he wanted it. Whatever Yunho was willing to bless him with, he yearned for more than anything else in that moment. He rubbed his legs together hoping to give his growing need some relief, the only way he was familiar with.

Yunho laughed again. Jaejoong whined more. Why was the man always laughing at him?

“How cute.” The elder cooed, moving the hand inside Jaejoong’s shirt to his belted pants. “Does the baby’s wittle cock some attention too?”

Jaejoong’s breathing quickened. He nodded his head furiously.

“Hmm.” Yunho teased unbolting Jaejoong’s pants. “I don’t know if we should baby doll. I mean we are right outside your mommy and daddy’s house. It be very naughty for me to touch you right here, right now. Don’t you think?”

Jaejoong moaned. How was he supposed to think?!

They were actually a car or two down from his home. Someone was having a function. There were cars everywhere meaning there were people everywhere. The thought alarmed Jaejoong but the chance of anyone seeing them through the fogged windows was near impossible. Besides, in all sick honestly, the part of him he was supposed to be keep in a box, wouldn’t mind all too much if a pair of eyes or two caught them.

Still Yunho’s words triggered the part of him that was not locked up; the part of him that knew they should stop. This was wrong. He was supposed to be at work right now. Not heavily making out with a hot college boy in the front seat of a car. He felt dirty all of a sudden, no better than those girls on Heejin’s TV programs who hooked up with the main actor for an episode or two only to never be seen again. His arms fell from Yunho’s neck to push at his chest. Then the man’s hands finally made in into his pants and gripped his little length.

_Hard._

His wide eyes were met with wicked ones. A crooked grin and a twisted laugh followed.

Another switch was flipped.

The last fiber snapped.

“Tell me Joongie, does your maid forget to do your laundry or are you just so perverse that you go without undies on a daily basis?”

Jaejoong went red. He could explain! …kind of. He didn’t like wearing the boxers his mama bought for him. He slept in them from time to time but only when it was really cold, and even then he opted for his fleece pajamas first. He just didn’t find underwear comfortable. His waist was small and his hips boney and the things were so baggy on him, they sagged in his trousers. It was easier to just go without.

But this was the second time Yunho caught him this way. He was starting to think he should carry a pair around just in case.

He opened his mouth to explain but his words were muffled in hot kiss that stung his bruised lips.

Pain.

He whimpered in pleasure.

Yunho bit and sucked at his bottom lip as he roughly fisted Jaejoong’s little cock. “Lucky me. I get the innocent babe and the slut all in one. Oh you and I are really gonna have a lot of fun together baby doll. So much fun that even a slut like you will be stated.”

Tears came to Jaejoong’s eyes. Why, he wasn’t fully sure. He was never sure why his eyes were always so quick to produce tears, even when he was happy. And he was very, very happy right now.

He raised his hips in time with Yunho’s brutal hand. “Y-Yunnie p-please-”

“Awe is the baby going to cry?”  
_“Awe is the baby going to cry?”_

Jaejoong’s eyes shot open.

“Whatever for little whore? You obviously like it a little fucked up?”

_“Cock whore.”_

_“Freak!”_

Jaejoong blinked at nothing in particular. “No.” He whispered, his hips never stopping. “That’s not true.”

“Oh but it is baby boy and I think you know that.”

_“Shut up whore. You know you know you like it!”_

Jaejoong started heaving. The hand on him never faltered making his muscles contract and spazum.

His mind was seeing things. Horrible things he did not want to see, especially now and with a person he actually liked.

This wasn’t happening.

He was pretending.

 _He_ was not allowed in his pretend world.

He started trashing until a firm hand stilled him and another siring kiss held him until his lungs burned from lack of oxygen.

The terrible images that were caving in on him vanished. _He_ was gone and even though Jaejoong’s eyes were open he saw nothing. Not _him_ , not his classmates, not even black or white.

When the hand around him started pumping again and when the lips left his own, warm and kind almond eyes met his. Not cold and angry round ones, like was expecting.

“There’s my little boy.” Yunho whispered so softly Jaejoong almost missed it.

The boy blinked and fell against the taller male’s broad chest exhausted. His body felt lite and heavy all at once. He felt tight and sought relief but a weird sensation told him otherwise.

“Tomorrow,” Yunho spoke from somewhere. “You’re skipping school.”

Jaejoong nodded into the man’s shirt. He didn’t think he had the right to argue.

“Back parking lot. The one behind your school.” Yunho told him, still rubbing his hard on. “Think you can meet me there at nine?”

Jaejoong nodded his head like a mad man. He tried to lift his hips but Yunho wouldn’t allow it.

“Use your words.” Yunho sang thumbing his slit.

Jaejoong sucked in air. “Yyeesss.”

“Good boy.” Yunho said kissing him temple. His hand picked up the pace. “Now you can cum.”

Two pumps. Three. Jaejoong lost count but it wasn’t long before he was cumming, harder than he ever had before, in his school pants and all over Yunho’s hand. His body went sack again and his vision so black, it was white. He felt out of his body, like his mind was floating off somewhere very far away. It was nice.

Sadly, before his mind could really drift away, Yunho’s voice pulled him back.

“Good boy.” The man cooed, showering the sweaty child with kisses and helping him ride out his orgasm. “Such a good little boy I have.”

Jaejoong sighed at the words. He liked them. They were almost nicer than the drifting. It was a tie really.

When Yunho felt the boy twitch uncomfortably, he pulled his hand away and reached for some tissues. Normally he’d use his mouth to clean them both up but he didn’t want to scare the child any further than he already had. As it was, he almost lost him. And they hadn’t even done anything by his standards yet.

Jaejoong sagged against the door of the car. He was shocked with himself. Ashamed even. A bit angry too. He just wanted to crawl into his bed and cry. Yunho was so sweet and gentle but it wasn’t until the other got rough with him that he started to really... No! He liked when Yunho was gentle, he really did! So why… Why?

Why was he so disturbed?

A clean hand, thick with the smell of musk and spunk, guided him by the chin to warm lips and a chaste kiss.

“You are so perfect, do you know that?”

Jaejoong stared at the man fixing his hair confused. “W-what?”

Yunho frowned and brushed away some of the boys tears. He wasn’t bothered by them. Some people cried after sex. He knew a few, it was normal. Really he was more concerned that he may have taken Jaejoong too far. The boy nearly fell for god’s sake. “Did it feel good baby?” He asked, trying to keep with the mood.

Jaejoong’s bottom lip trembled. He let out a distressed sound as his thoughts started to darken.

“Oh no no no.” Yunho said a little firmer than he had been speaking. He held Jaejoong’s face. “Look at me baby doll.” Jaejoong did. “You’re okay. You did great now answer my question, did it feel good?”

Jaejoong’s eyes searched for an answer. “I-I don’t-”

“Did is feel good Jaejoong?”

Jaejoong blinked. Was good the right word? Kissing Yunho while the man touched his most privet parts had definitely been among the more pleasant things he experienced. But he learned that a lot of the stuff he thought was good, were actually bad.

But Yunho wasn’t like them. He could be honest. With a sniffle, he nodded his head and smiled. “Y-yes.”

“Then why are you crying baby boy? Was I too rough with you?” He asked genuinely worried. Yunho didn’t know why he was so concerned. It wasn’t like he was a pro, or even an active participant in after care. Again, they hadn’t really done _anything_ but Jaejoong looked on the verge of breakdown and that bothered him. It was weird.

“No!” Jaejoong said quickly. _You weren’t rough enough_. “It-it w-was grrreat. Joongie h-had fun. He-he did.”

Yunho wasn’t sure where to go after that. He wasn’t completely convinced for one but for the time being he pushed the thought, and his throbbing erection, to the back of his mind. He was hard, painfully so but he was more concerned with Jaejoong at the moment. His cock could wait.

He peck Jaejoong’s lips one last time and patted his cheeks. “Okay baby doll, until tomorrow.”

Jaejoong eyes went wide as he remembered what he agreed to. He was glad Yunho couldn’t see his face as the man was busy fixing his cloths nuzzling his neck.

He couldn’t really skip school and go off with Yunho could he? He wanted to but that didn’t mean he could. Granted it wasn’t like he had perfect attendance anything to protect and he was in the top of his class so really he could stand to miss a day or two. But there was something about the idea of playing hooky to spend the day with an older boy doing god knows what just seemed so _naughty_ to him.

He smiled. Now he couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

Truthfully another day with Yunho was more than drool worthy to the boy and it wasn’t like anyone would care or notice him gone. Heechul would still be “sick” and Junsu wasn’t talking to him. He could skip. It wouldn’t be hard for him to catch. Plus Friday meant Chinese and Jaejoong often looked for reasons to skip that. The teacher hated him, he was sure of it.

“There.” Yunho said and beamed at him, ticking his sides. “All done.”

Jaejoong raised his hand to hide his giggles. Yunho pushed them down.

“Nooo. No more hiding you’re beautiful smile, remember?”

Jaejoong smiled and nodded.

“Good.” Yunho kissed him one last time and moved back into the driver’s seat. “Think you can make it up to _Kim Manor_ all by yourself.”

Jaejoong giggled again. “My house isn’t that big Yunnie.”

“Yes it is.” The man dead panned. He handed Jaejoong his pink backpack and his doll. “Text me when you get inside and before you go to bed alright.” He couldn’t shake the need to check in on the boy, something he never did with anyone. Jaejoong was different though. _Very different._

Jaejoong nodded one last time. “I will. Bye bye Yunnie.”

Yunho chuckled as the boy got out of the car. “Bye bye baby.”

Jaejoong stepped out of the car and waved at the man still inside. Yunho waited until he was safely inside his large house to lean back in his seat with a loud groan. He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his crotch. He shook his head and but the car in drive.

“What the fuck have I gotten myself into?”

He really should have just let the boy go.

 


	4. Better (pt. One 4/?)

_\--Earlier Thursday morning--_

_“Let me make sure I got this right. You went out, as in actual date when out, with a 16 year old boy, whom you are clearly obsessed with, that you met at a restaurant one night, only instead of boning him you scared the shit out of him, and now, somehow, this equates to me washing a toy frog you bought for him at seven fucking a.m.” Yunho didn’t say anything. That was about it. “What, are you feeling remorseful for once? That’s new.”_

_He flinched. “Okay Kyu, geeze. I’m not that much of a dick.”_

_“I’ll argue against that.” The gamer shot back._

_“You would know.” He muttered with an annoyed pout. He was not uses to being on the receiving end of anyone’s criticism or heat._

_Yunho and Kyuhyun had an odd relationship to say the least. They knew each other for a long time but they did not start out as friends. In primary school they practically hated each other. The only thing that kept them from totally destroying one another was their shared friendship with Changmin. In middle school, their fights grew more violent following the death of Yunho’s parents. The artist developed a short fuse and Kyuhyun’s inability to know when to stop didn’t help. Their relationship (or lack thereof) seemed set in stone until the second year of high school rolled around. Kyuhyun attended an all-boys math and science institution while Yunho, along with Changmin and eventually Yoochun, when to the school within walking distance of their homes. They saw each other only a handful of times, usually at a party or something like it, but somehow an unspoken respect and understanding grew between the two. Come KU, a friendship was born. Kind of. They still got into from time to time but that was only because they were so similar in certain aspects._

_“So why else are you here then?” Kyuhyun asked. “I hope this,” He held up the wet and soapy toy, “isn’t it. You can google how to fix this.”_

_Yunho looked away. “It’s complicated.”_

_Kyuhyun snorted and dropped the doll back in the sink. “Come off it Yunho. You’re not that special.”_

_“Still bigger than you.”_

_Kyuhyun bit back a response and continued his scrubbing. He’d fight back but it wasn’t worth it nor wise to push Yunho’s buttons. The man had the shortest temper in the world and could be pretty terrifying if set off. It was better to play nice and let him be. Besides, Yunho wasn’t all bad. For one, he wasn’t as cold as he acted nor as tough as he let on. His interaction with Ryeowook and loyalty to his friends were proof of that. Kyuhyun knew the man was more decent than people or even Yunho himself believed. His heart did come out into the sun every now and again and in times like now, when he was trying his best not to show how much he was hurting or cared._

_“You like him that much huh?”_

_Yunho shrugged in his seat at Kyuhyun and Ryeowook’s small kitchen table. “I guess.”_

_Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “Like I believe that. I don’t get what’s stopping you. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like he likes you too.”_

_Yunho looked down at his coffee in Jaejoong’s little pink thermos top. “He does. I think. But he’s 16.”_

_“So, since when did you give a shit about things like age?”_

_“You know what I mean.”_

_“Not really. And didn’t you start having sex at 14 or some shit?”_

_“I shouldn’t be his first Kyuhyun.” Yunho stated with hard eyes, ending the conversation there._

_Kyuhyun knew what that meant and he honestly had no right to argue for he himself felt the same. But still, this was different. “Yunho, you know you don’t have to-”_

_“I already made up my mind Kyu. Please don’t try and convince me to do something we both know I shouldn’t.”_

_He sighed. “Fine, then why are you still here? It’s obviously not to watch me clean.”_

_Yunho looked back at his hands. He played with the pink and white container a little and tried to imagine Jaejoong’s face when he got the pretty thing. He smiled for a second before it disappeared. “I mean I know I can be a dick but there’s worse people out there than me right?” He almost whispered. “I’m not…I’m not that bad am I?”_

_Kyuhyun looked away and began rinsing out the toy._

_The short answer to Yunho’s question was yes for even though the man was nice to his friends, he was still a sadistic jerk who cared for no one and nothing and (and Kyuhyun was really hoping this had changed) believed that after care was optional. He even once took part in a bet to see who could sleep with the most people in a month. Yunho hurt a lot of people in his few short years and didn’t seem to care about it. But again, that was the short answer._

_The reality was, no. Kyuhyun truly believed that Yunho was not a bad guy, he just liked his bad boy, asshole image too much to act otherwise. The proof was Ryeowook. The elder didn’t open up to many people and even when he did, it was not to ask for them to sit on the floor and color with him. Yunho did that and more. He was, for all intent and purposes, a big brother; a natural caregiver and could be really sweet when he thought no one was looking. He had a big heart and cared a lot. He was just too far up his own ass to admit it._

_Kyuhyun really didn’t understand why the other was so opposed to the idea of an actual relationship with someone or why he continued to repress what he knew and felt. It was only a matter of time before it all boiled over so he might as well give in now. Everybody got lonely sometimes and eventually waking up to strangers or by yourself got old. Yunho was no exception, even if he wanted to be._

_Another thought occurred to Kyuhyun that led him to believe there was more to the story than Yunho let on. Why wasn’t he talking to Yoochun or Changmin about all of this? They were his closest friends, they knew him better, they could actually help. All Kyuhyun could do was listen and feel sorry for the man. He was too logical to do much else and it went without say that Yunho was not going to take any advice he might give._

_Ryeowook yawned and stretched as he walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He had gone back to bed after a little prompting but he wanted to join his daddy and his oppa for breakfast. He loved his sleep but he hated being left out of things more. “Morning daddy, morning oppa.”_

_“Morning Wookie.” Yunho said kindly smiling at the sleepy man._

_“Good morning cupcake.” Kyuhyun replied. He gave Ryeowook a brief kiss on the lips. “Daddy is sorry he doesn’t have your breakfast ready princess. This is taking longer than I thought.” He glared at Yunho to make his point._

_Ryeowook giggled and nuzzled his daddy’s back. “That’s okay daddy. Wookie can cook too ‘member? And it’s fun.”_

_He skipped to the fridge to get what he needed (pancakes sounded nice) when he caught sight of what Yunho was drinking out of._

_“Ooo, I like your tumbler oppa. It’s really pretty. I didn’t know you liked hello kitty. Wookie does too, see.” He pulled down his pink and purple knee high sock to reveal a kitty band aid on his knee. Really his whole knee was wrapped up after he had a nasty fall the other day but his daddy gave him a band aid anyways for extra super healing power._

_Yunho smiled at the 20 year old. “That’s very pretty Wookie and thank you but sadly this isn’t mine. It’s Jaejoong’s.”_

_“Oohhh.” He said understanding. “Is dat the boy who Kewoppi bewongs to?”_

_“The very same.”_

_The boy nodded. “I like him.”_

_Yunho laughed softly. “You don’t even know him.”_

_“But you know him and he likes Hello Kitty so he must be nice right?”_

_Yunho nodded. “Not gonna argue with that logic.” There was no malice in his voice, only light teasing._

_Ryeowook smiled taking a seat next to the man. “Will Wookie get to meet him soon? I has lots of games we can play. Oppa and daddy can join too.”_

_Yunho wore a tight smile. “Don’t get too excited Wookie. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.”_

_“Why?” He asked simply._

_“Because…it’s complicated.” He said once again. “I don’t think he likes me very much.” Ryeowook was far capable of understanding more than that but Yunho wasn’t sure where to begin or even how to explain. After talking with Kyuhyun, he didn’t even know what he was trying to say at this point._

_“Oooh, Wookie is sowy oppa. He won’t like Jaejoongie anymore.”_

_Yunho laughed. “That’s okay Wookie, you can still like him. I do too. Do you wanna see a picture of him?”_

_The child brightened up instantly. “Can I?”_

_“Of course.” Yunho took out his phone and scrolled for a decent photo. He settled on one of Jaejoong holding up a messy bouquet of wild flowers smiling wide and proud at his little creation. “Here you go.”_

_“Thank you.” Ryeowook said politely as he took the phone with both hands._

_Kyuhyun pecked his baby’s hair, careful of the bow he was wearing. “Pull up your sockie pretty girl. We don’t want you owie to get infected.”_

_“Okay daddy.” He said setting down the phone to fix his sock. “Daddy, can we gives Yunho oppa a kitty band aid too. His hand is hurted.”_

_Kyuhyun laughed as he rinsed of the toy in his hands for a second time. “We can but I don’t think daddy’s power work on mean old adults.”_

_Ryeowook giggled as his sides were tickled. He looked at the phone and went silent. “He’s just like me.”_

_Yunho raised and an eyebrow at the child’s words._

_Kyuhyun was puzzled as well. “What do you mean cupcake?”_

_Ryeowook looked at his daddy and smiled. “He’s just like Wookie daddy, look! Can’t you sees it? He and Wookie are twins!”_

_Kyuhyun took the phone and examined the photo of the boy he and Yunho had been talking about not five minutes ago. He smirked. “Well I’ll be damned. Looks like someone is going to have a new friend after all huh princes?”_

_Ryeowook giggled and turned to Yunho. “You’ll let him come over right oppa? Wookie’s never had a friend like her before. She promises to be really nice to Jaejoong and share all her toys with him, even Molly n Winnie n Jeffery too.”_

_“Wow, that’s very sweet of you baby. You won’t even let daddy play with them.”_

_Yunho felt his gut turn in a way that was neither good nor bad. A thought entered his mind but it ran by so fast he already forgotten it. He looked between the two confused. “Am I missing something here?”_

_Ryeowook frowned again while Kyuhyun laughed. “Don’t worry Wookie, your oppa’s just not ready yet but he will be.”_

_“The fuck is that supposed to mean? What are you talking about?”_

_“It means you and I have a lot more to discuss than just how to get mud out of felt.”_

_“He could take him to the stuffies doctor daddy. Dat’s where Mr. Panda is!” Chimed Ryeowook._

_Yunho looked to Kyuhyun for clarification._

_“It’s just an overpriced dry cleaner. I’ll give you the number later.” Kyuhyun whispered._

_\--_

 

 

“Here’s your coffee sir.”

Yunho was dragged out of his thoughts and forced back in to reality. He turned away from the window he was looking out to see the girl he meet earlier upon entering the café holding a try out to him with a flirty smile on her face. He was a little confused at first. What was she doing? His pager hadn’t even buzzed. “What?”

She laughed daintily. “Your double shot vanilla roast? Did you forget already?”

He eyed the girl, annoyed, for a moment until he heard another set of giggles.

_“Daddy is really silly sometimes.”_

He turned to the empty seat next to him. Of course no one was there. Yunho groaned and held his head. His mind was so far gone at this point.

“Sir are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He grunted out in a thick voice. He snatched up the cup off the try and quickly made his way to the door. The girl called after him but he kept moving.

_“Where are we going now daddy?”_

“Shut up.” He snarled to himself.

He had stopped by a nearby coffee shop shortly after dropping Jaejoong off at his home to clear his head. Actually that was a lie. He did want to clear his head but it took damn near an hour and one too many half recognizable faces from the party across the street to get the college student to step on the gas pedal and flee; his mind still swimming with thoughts of the kiss he shared with the 16 year old, not to mention the tent in his pants.

The afterglow as they called it.

Yunho had heard of it, seen it, but never once experienced it. Not even when he was 15 and some random girl, whose name he had long forgotten, let him stick his dick in her for the first time. Or even the day when the cute guy from the basketball team invited him over to his house one afternoon and Yunho learned that giving was just as much fun as receiving. Head of course. No way was he _ever_ a bottom.

Still, as often is the case, none of Yunho’s first were ever “great” and therefore not worthy of holding any significant space within his mind let alone leave him with some unexplained sense of fulfillment or content. Even his more “exciting” experiences and interactions never really left any sort of lasting effect on him.

He recovered fast from things. Sex was no different.

But he hadn’t had sex. Not with Jaejoong or anyone else for that matter for a few days now. He didn’t even get off and while Yunho could hold it for quite a while, he was not accustomed to doing so because the one he was with probably never seen a dick other than his own before.

It was maddening, the giddy feeling he couldn’t help but indulge in. It was just a kiss. A simple, messy, little kiss. How could something so simple and so innocent mess him up so much? And to make matters worse, he was already hungry for more.

Was it too late to reconsider what he already reconsidered?

Yunho knew the answer but he wished he didn’t.

“That one daddy! I want that one! And that one too!”

Before Yunho could even get a foot out the door, his eyes betrayed him and followed the sound to a little girl giggling cutely and pointing animatedly at the glass display of treats and deserts while her father, he presumed, stood behind her smiling. Yunho couldn’t stop staring. Especially at her pink dress.

Jaejoong liked pink.

“You can get one darling. Daddy doesn’t want his little princess to spoil her dinner.”

She let out a loud huff and puffed out her cheeks but eventually asked the woman behind the counter, for one of the large cupcakes with pink frosting near the front of the glass.

_“Daddy, can Joongie get one too?”_

“Will you just leave me the fuck alone for one god damn second?!” He shouted out loud, his broad shoulders moved up and down with his harsh breathing.

Yunho didn’t stick around to see everyone looking at him like he was a mad man. He quickly got in his car and sped home.

He was home within 10 minutes and barely made it inside his apartment before he was already riding himself of his jeans and shoes.

He stumbled to his bedroom and let his back fall against his bed, right hand already pumping his hard length.

_“Daddy.”_

His hand moved faster. “Fuck, what are you doing to me?”

_“Let Joongie do it daddy.”_

“Go away.” He cried.

More laughter. _“Silly daddy.”_

Yunho bit the inside of his lip as he rub his cock like a teen who just learned how to use it. He groaned picturing small hands touching him softly and big eye seeking praise and adoration. It both turned him on and baffled him to no end. He’d never been so quick to give anyone anything but he was sure that if Jaejoong asked for a star and the moon he’d spend his last won to get it for the boy.

“Fuck.” He cursed again, feeling his orgasm building but still falling short. He needed more but there was nothing all that different about that. Yunho always needed more.

More risk, more danger, more strain. He was an adrenalin junkie that got off on control and was fueled by power. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. Power, control, danger, physical affection, they had been a part of his life since he was a boy. Of course in a more innocent sense back then but even so, the traits were finite.

They were a part of him. And for the millionth time, Yunho was once again reminded of why he and Jaejoong could never be.

He sighed and let go of his erection, suddenly feeling very uneasy with himself.

What was wrong with? Jaejoong was 16. 16 and innocent. He was 19 and depraved. What kind of relationship would they even have? It couldn’t be a physical one and on an intellectual level didn’t seem likely either. Plus, Yunho had a feeling they had very little in common.

So if he couldn’t fuck the boy or talk to the boy, then what was he doing? What _was_ there to do?

He sighed again and reached for his lighter and cigarettes.

_“Smoking’s bad for you.”_

“So are you.” Yunho mumbled around his stick as he lit it. “Yet here you are.”

Jaejoong giggled from where he laid next to him and smiled.

Yunho turned his head to the boy after taking a long drag. “This isn’t going to work, you know that right?”

Jaejoong merely blinked and said nothing. Yunho didn’t know what he was expecting. It wasn’t like the boy was actually there.

“You’re going to end up hating me.” He continued. “And I’ll end up hating me too. Kind of hate myself already.”

_“I don’t hate daddy.”_

“Of course you don’t.” He took another drag and tapped the ashes on the floor. He’d sweep it up later. “I can’t be with you but I also can’t be without you and believe me I’m trying.” He laughed. Jaejoong laughed too.

He sighed and watch the smoke swirl above him. “This is going to end terribly, one way or another. Let’s hope the ride’s worth it.” He turned his head to the side and smiled but Jaejoong wasn’t there anymore. He was alone.

Yunho took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was always alone it seemed. Granted, this was a choice he did make but wasn’t one he was particularly fond of.

Being alone was easy. He didn’t have to worry about anyone, care about anyone, answer to anyone and that was nice. But at the same time he had no one to worry about him, care about him, answer him, and that sucked.

Loneliness was Yunho’s secret shame. He felt it a lot and allowed it to eat at him in the worst way possible until he was little more than a cold, angry, husk of himself. At one time, Changmin and Yoochun did try to help him, kind of. But as Yunho never really did tell them how he was truly feeling, there was little they could do and after a while, they assumed he was fine. But Yunho wasn’t fine. He was barely oaky. And as the heat in his anger dropped and the ice around him hardened, Yunho was starting to realize that fact himself.

He sighed again as he finished out his cigarette and began to light a new one.

Perhaps that was why he felt so strongly for the boy. Jaejoong did fill a void within him. But if that was the case then there were a number of people Yunho had easy access to for that. So no. Jaejoong was more that. He wasn’t just a place holder, he was something to hold on to. Something to care for, something to protect. It startled Yunho how much he missed having that.

And it really scared him how much he envied those who did. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook being the prime example.

Yunho never thought he would ever become so close to his former childhood rival and his now boyfriend but he was. They were important to him. They were worth protecting and caring about. He admired them for what they shared and on his weaker days, he envied them. Why? Because they had managed to create and sustain something he never would be able to.

Until he met Jaejoong that is.

But that was an idea and ideas were not what one should base a relationship entirely off of. Plus if Yunho really wanted that life for himself, couldn’t he find it in anyone? It wasn’t like there was a shortage of people willing to date him nor people that met his “criteria”.

_“Oh my fucking god! Would you stop thinking and just call him already!”_

Yunho flipped on Kyuhyun’s words from earlier today but the man was right. He did need to stop thinking so much. Who cares why he liked Jaejoong. He just did. Who cared what Jaejoong did for him or what he meant. The point was Yunho wanted to be with him. Plain and simple. And he was given the green light to do so, so what was the big de-

_Buzz, buzz._

The vibrations of his phone interrupted his thoughts. He picked up the device and opened the message.

**_Night Yunnie. See you tomorrow :D_ **

Yunho read the time on his screen. It was after ten. Shit, how long had he been wallowing in his own misery?

He smiled and sent a quick reply.

**_Night baby doll. Until then ;)_ **

He put out his stick and headed to his closet.

 _Kyuhyun you better be right about this_ , he thought as he pushed aside a couple of things and pulled out a box he hadn’t opened in a long time.

“You’ll be fine. As long as you’re honest, you won’t hurt him.”

 _Doubt that_ , Yunho snorted as he tried on his father’s skates.

 _Hope I still remember how to use these things_.

\--

\--

\--

 

 

 

Jaejoong hastily pull books and folders from his locker and stuffed them in his backpack. He wasn’t sure what or even how much homework he would have over the weekend so he decided to play it safe and just pack everything. He could always text or Heechul or Fanny for the details later. It was a hit or miss with the girl as she was talking to him less and less but he had more classes with her then with Heechul and she was usually relatively nice to him. Also she took better notes and actually did her homework.

He had a couple papers in his hand when someone pushed him from behind making him hit his head on a shelf inside his locker and drop his things. It was pretty early in the morning and the first (technically fifth) period bell wasn’t due to ring for another half hour but there was still a decent amount of activity and life in the halls. The bullies couldn’t be avoided.

“Going on a trip freak?” He heard someone laugh, most likely referring to the duffle bag he was carrying that contained his change of clothes for later. It sounded like Jonghyun. He didn’t look back to check.

He sighed and picked up his fallen things. As he put them back inside, he looked into his mirror hanging on the door and noticed the growing red mark on his forehead. It hurt to touch. He’d have to put make-up on it later so Yunho wouldn’t notice. He wanted today to be perfect.

Another giggle escaped his lips as he filed away his papers. The whole morning, and part of last night, had him feeling silly and flustered. He had a date today. A second date with the single most cutest and handsome guy he had ever met. It was still a little hard to believe considering how the day before yesterday it seemed like Yunho wanted nothing to do with him. But the man apologized and as Jaejoong was incapable of holding a grudge everything was fine now.

A part of him did wondered if it was a bad sign that the man had asked him to skip school for the day (that’s what the internet said at least) but it wasn’t like he hadn’t missed school for more foolish reasons, i.e. pointless doctor visits and counseling appointments. His mother often pulled him out for those reason and sometimes even on days were Jaejoong had a test or an important class. _That_ was reckless.

This was different. To Jaejoong at least. He decided from last night, if he was gonna miss school, he’d rather it be for something he actually wanted to do and not something that he truly disliked. School itself was bad enough.

Beside, today was a blue day. He could miss a blue day.

Jaejoong’s school worked on a block schedule that started in September and went on until late June; very unlike the average Korean high school that was year round. He had four periods a day that alternated to make up a total of eight periods a semester. One through four on red days and five through eight on blue days with every other Wednesday being a half day with mini classes (unless you were a third year. Wednesdays were intensively study for third years). His classes were 90 minutes in length which seemed long but like all the other students, he got used to it.

Blue days were his lite days (it just kind of worked out that way). It went History, Biology, English, and then study hall. All were classes he was doing extremely well in and could afford to skip.

Or was he just making excuses for himself? The teen dating site he was on last night did warn him about that.

Another shove. Harder this time and into the locker door meaning it was probably Shindong.

“Careful freak, wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

Yep, Shindong.

His forehead was really hurting at this point but his spirts were still high. Nothing could get him down, not even- oh…right.

He stared at a photo of he and Junsu taped to the inside of his locker. Junsu’s mother took it of the two of them on their first day of high school. Jaejoong had a ton of photos of the boy whose hair color didn’t stay the same for long but this one was among his favorites. Junsu had his arm over him and was laughing with his eyes closed. Junsu always smiled in photos but it was a fake one he pulled out of nowhere to look nice for the occasion. Jaejoong could tell when his friend was being genuine. And here, with his head thrown back and his uniform askew it was quite clear, his happiness was real.

Jaejoong felt his eyes heat up. He really missed his best friend.

_What did I do wrong?_

“Holy shit you had sex!”

Jaejoong jumped in surprise. He clutched his chest breathing heavily. “Cindy! You scared me.”

Heechul ignored him (along with his sister’s warning) and moved Jaejoong’s head from side to side examining the hickies on his neck. “Good god. You two did it more than once huh.”

Jaejoong swatted away his hand embarrassed. “Stop that. And I didn’t…we didn’t do that.” He whispered that last part.

“Oh bull shit. You did something dirty now spill. It’s the least you could do for leaving me hanging last night.”

“Oh I’m sorry Cindy. I saw that Heejin was having a party but I was-”

“Busy. I can tell. You’re forgiven now come on I’m dying here. Did he suck you off?” He gasped. “Did you suck him off? How big is he? Say when.” He started moving his fingers apart.

“Chullie.”

“I hope that’s a when because if no good god Jae, how are you walking?”

He put his friends hands down and whispered to him. “We didn’t do anything like that.” He bit his lip and blushed. “But we did kiss. A lot.”

Heechul narrowed his eyes. “No way a kiss has you smiling that much.”

Jaejoong blushed even harder. “Well…he did also touch me. Down there.”

Heechul’s eyes widened. “You slut!” He hollered hitting Jaejoong in the arm.

“Ow.” Jaejoong cried, rubbing the spot he hit. “Do you have to keep shouting?”

“I’m sorry it’s just, my little Jaejoongie had his first hand job and I’m so proud.” He fanned his fake tears. “So what else happened?”

“That’s it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

Heechul looked at his friend with skeptical eyes and leaned against Jaejoong’s locker. “Fine.” He huffed. “So why the bag then? You’re seeing him again tonight, aren’t you?!”

Jaejoong couldn’t hide his smile. “Actually, in about an hour.”

Heechul audibly gasped. “You’re ditching school to have sex?! Not that I haven’t done it before but for you-”

“We’re not gonna have sex! This is just a change of clothes.”

“For after the sex?”

“For our date.”

Heechul held up his hands in defense. “Fine, fine. So what are you doing on this ‘date’?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say.”

“You didn’t ask.”

“Was I supposed to?”

“Oh Jaejoongie, you still have so much to learn.”

The first bell rang, signaling for student to start to head to class. Jaejoong and Heechul started making their way their way to their History class.

“There’s so much I have yet to teach you.”

“Yunnie said he’ll teach me.” Jaejoong said under his breath.

Heechul hit him again. “I knew there was more. You are holding out on me Kim Jaejoong and that makes you evil.” He hung onto Jaejoong’s arm.

Jaejoong giggled as he awkwardly walked. “Haha I’ll tell you everything tonight okay. We’ll have a sleepover.”

“Deal.”

They walked into class and took their usual seats next to each other, near the front. Jaejoong took out his notebook and pen case to “prepare” for the lesson while Heechul fished for pen and stole paper from the other.

The second bell rang as the last few students ran into class, happy the teacher wasn’t there yet so they wouldn’t be counted as late.

“Wait a second.” He said handing Jaejoong his notebook back. “Class doesn’t end until 9:30. How are you gonna ditch?”

“You’re ditching class?”

They both turned to look at Tiffany sitting behind them.

“I-”

“He has a date.”

“Stop telling everyone.”

“I only told Tiffany.”

“You’re texting Hangeng now!”

Heechul looked at his phone before putting it away. “Was not. He says have fun by the way.”

Jaejoong slammed his head on the desk only to spring back up in pain.

“So you’re really skipping?” Tiffany asked again.

“K-kind of.” Jaejoong explained fixing his make-up.

Tiffany gave him a knowing look. “Yes or no Jaejoong. I need to know if I need to take notes for you are not. Also you missed a spot.” She said handing him a mirror.

“T-thanks.” He smiled, happy his friend was giving him the time of day again. Mainly because Taeyeon wasn’t in this class but that wasn’t the point. “A-and could you?”

“Sure.” She said warmly. “And by the way I think it’s cool that you’re skipping for a date. It’s romantic.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, in fact-”

“Ohmygod we can gush and throw up a kitten later.” Heechul expressed. Tiffany shot him a glare. “Mr. Bak is going to walk in here any second now. How are we getting you out of here?”

Jaejoong looked down and bit his lip before giving Heechul a sympathetic smile.

Heechul frowned at him before rolling his eyes. “I hate you.”

“Good morning class.” Mr. Bak greeted warmly, a coffee in his hands.

“No you don’t.” Jaejoong giggled before facing forward in his seat.

Mr. Bak casually called roll like he normally did at the start of class, glancing up every so often and making marks on his attendance sheet.

“Jinki?”

“Here.”

“Tiffany?”

“Here.”

“You so owe me.” Heechul whisper yelled.

“I know. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Jaejoong?”

Jaejoong smiled and raised his hand. “Here!”

“Heechul?”

“He- Oh god!” Heechul screamed falling out of his chair, a hand to his chest.

Mr. Bak, who may or may not have a “thing” for Heechul’s mother, raced towards the boy. “Oh my god, Heechul are you alright?”

“I-I feel faint.” He stuttered forcing tears to come to his eyes. “My head and my chest.” He forced a cough. “I think I need to call my mom, but I left my phone at home and-”

“Seriously” Kibum said in the back.

“Shut up.” Tiffany hissed. “Here Heechul you can use my-”

“No, no, no.” Mr. Bak said a little too happily. “It’s alright Tiffany. I better take Mr. Kim to the office. We’ll contact your mother together Heechul.”

“Th-Thank you Mr. Bak.” Heechul groaned as he pretended to have trouble standing. “She worries so much about me. She’ll be happy to know someone is looking out for me.”

Mr. Bak flushed before clearing his throat and helping Heechul out of the room. “Yes well, that’s what a teacher is for.” He said smugly. “Tiffany, you’re in charge. Class begin reading chapter five.”

“Yes Mr. Bak.” The girl smiled as the man left the room.

Jaejoong waited for the door to close completely before quickly putting his things away.

“I can’t believe that worked.” Tiffany laughed. “And wait, isn’t Heechul’s mom in Paris?”

“S-she is. But He-Heejin sounds just like her. If all goes well yo-you’ll have frreee period.” Jaejoong explained, swinging his duffle bag over him.

“Where’s the freak going?”

“Who cares. Free period!”

“Good luck.” She waved as he left the room.

“Thank you Fany. I’ll t-text you.”

Jaejoong looked both ways before slipping out of the classroom and took a left down the hallway. The school was large enough to where he, or anyone else for that matter, could leave without anyone knowing. If you knew what you were doing. Thankfully, Jaejoong knew the school well (you had to if you wanted to avoid people like Kangin) and was near the back entrance in a matter of seconds.

He could already see the back double doors but he needed to change first. Again making sure he was alone, he sneaked into the staff bathroom and began removing his uniform. A staff bathroom, which he knew the pin to thanks to Mrs. Lee his biology teacher, was safer than the student bathroom. They were single stalled and the likelihood of anyone trying to come inside was next to none. There were only a few classrooms back here and teachers hardly ever came this far just to use one. Students weren’t allowed in them either but again, Jaejoong was close to Mrs. Lee. She liked and sympathized with him.

Jaejoong giggled as he pulled on his second skin skinny jeans pants. He felt almost like a spy. No, better! Like someone in one of Heechul’s dramas or the people in those action movies Junsu always made him watch. It was exciting and fun and…real. Jaejoong didn’t think he could ever enjoy real life this much or that it was even worth all he went through. He still thought he was given an unfair hand at the start but it was hard to stay angry or sad when someone showed you how to play it.

Jaejoong liked to think of himself as a positive person. He got sad easily but he was smiling and laughing again just as quickly. At first it was a copping mechanism (and a way to not worry those who cared to ask) but over time he started to believe himself and that turned out a good thing even if it sound like it was not.

He had an easier time dealing with the taunting and teasing and learned to focus on things that made him smile like shopping with Junsu or watching old movies with his stuffed animals. It became almost second nature to him to tune out the negativity and darkness around him because there was just so many things that were far worth his time.

Then the doctors started prescribing medications and slowly one by one, his distractions and things to look forward to, were taken from. And it wasn’t so easy to pretend or tune out the world anymore.

But he wasn’t going to think about that now. He didn’t want to ever think about that and today he wouldn’t have to. And that reason alone was enough to make the day perfect in his eyes.

He checked his make-up in the mirror and fixed his hair. He wasn’t set to meet up with Yunho for another 25 minutes but he’d rather be early and out of the school now than risk getting seen later. He could always hang around the field until time. Junsu had this hour free for practice. Granted they still weren’t talking, but Jaejoong liked to think that the other male wouldn’t mind too much if he watched quietly from the bleachers.

After folding and neatly packing his things away, he opened the bathroom door slowly to check if the cost was clear. The hallway was empty as expected at this time. He picked out his bag and made his way towards the back doors.

Then he heard a door close.

“Well, well, well. Where are you off too freak?”

Jaejoong cursed. This hall mainly held second year classes which wouldn’t be a big deal…if half of them didn’t idolize Kangin.

He debated whether or not to keep walking. The door was right there. He was an okay runner and he was uses to making a break for it carrying stuff. All he had to do was making it out the doors and to the soccer field. Junsu would be there along with the rest of the team and the coach. He’d be safe…ish. As long as eyes were watching nothing too bad would happen to him.

“Hey freak, I’m talking to you!” Shindong sounded as he graded Jaejoong by the shoulder and roughly pushed him into the wall.

Jaejoong winced but didn’t make a sound. It was just Shindong after all. The man was more bark than anything.

“Kangin hyung was right. You really don’t have anything going on up there.”

Jaejoong didn’t say anything as he looked down at the floor. He still had time. Shindong would rough him up a bit and then he could go. Nothing was too bad yet. He’d be okay.

“Ooohh I know.” The brut sneered squeezing Jaejoong’s cheeks. “I know what you need.” He slapped Jaejoong hard causing him to fall and grabbed him by his black hair.

Now it was bad. Now Jaejoong needed to fight.

He struggled as Shindong dragged him along the tile floor. “Le-let me go.” He fought helplessly.

“Dressed like that? Not a chance freak.”

Jaejoong didn’t stop struggling. Tears came to his eyes as he watched the back exit inch farther and farther away from him.

No. Today is supposed to be perfect.

“You know, Kangin hyung told me about you. I didn’t believe him of course but seeing you dressed like this, I can see why he keeps you around now.”

Jaejoong looked back at the other. “Wh-what are you ta-” He trailed off seeing the boy’s bathroom come into his sights. His eyes widened. Despite the extreme pain in his scalp, he forced himself protest harder. “No, S-Shindong please.”

“What are you complaining for?” He laughed. “I at least want you. You don’t have to force yourself on hyung anymore.”

Jaejoong ignored that and started hitting Shindong’s legs. “L-let me go. You c-c-can’t do this!”

Shindong turned around. “Would you shut up you little-”

**_SMACK!_ **

Shindong let go of Jaejoong and held his face. “FUCK!” He screamed in pain.

Jaejoong look up at the man confused (but relived) until he saw a soccer ball roll past him. He followed with his eyes until it landed by a pair of dirty cleats.

Their owner picking it up casually. “Sorry.” Junsu smirked. “It slipped.”

Shindong seethed resembling an ox rather than a human. “I’m gonna fucking kill you Kim.” He bore, nostrils flaring. He barely took a step before Junsu kicked the ball at him again.

“My bad.” Junsu laughed as he helped Jaejoong up. “You okay?”

Jaejoong nodded still a little stunned by what just transpired. “Ye-yeah. Thanks.” He said more shakily then he normally would when talking to Junsu.

The other easily sensed his friends discomfort but ignored it for the time being. “No problem” Junsu replied before aiming the ball at Shindong’s head once more.

“Fuck.” The older boy cried again.

“I could do this all day Shindong. Up to you really.”

The older boy glared at them one last time before turning on his heels it the opposite direction. “This isn’t over. You’re fucking dead Kim.”

“Wonder which one he means.” Junsu laughed.

Jaejoong continued to stare at his friend in disbelief. The other had all but treated him like a leper for the past week and now he was acting like nothing happened? Did anything happen? It would be easier to just the follow the others lead and look the other way but Jaejoong wasn’t so sure that was what he wanted to do. This was the first real “fallout” the two ever had. They should at least talk about it right?

“Susu-”

“Heechul told me you were ditching. I’m not gonna try and convince you otherwise. By the looks of it you don’t really need help in making decision anymore. Guess it’s a good thing practice ended early.”

Jaejoong narrowed his eyes at the tone Junsu was using with him. It was not one he was familiar with. Not from Junsu at least. Taeyeon maybe. Heechul when Hangeng did something that upset him. But never from Junsu and never directed at him.

He glanced down at the boy’s filthy shoes; shoe he would get in serious trouble for if caught wearing them in the building. Shoes he only wore on the field which meant he was lying. Practice didn’t end early. He didn’t even have his bag for god’s sake. He rushed over here. A fact that normally would have Jaejoong smiling and happy but now had him harboring a feeling he never knew in regards to his best friend.

Annoyance.

“You’re lying.”

Junsu snorted and walked around the other. “I’m not lying Jaejoong. Get over yourself.”

Anger.

“Excuse me?!”

“What? Not everything is about you.”

“I never said it was.”

“You didn’t need too.”

Jaejoong’s mouth hung open in disgust but his eyes were clouded in hurt. What was going on? This had to be a dream because there was no way this was Junsu. “Why are you acting like this?”

Junsu looked at him unfazed. “Like what?”

“Like a jerk.”

“Oh I’m a jerk now?”

“Right now yeah. You ignore me for a week and when Joongie finally sees you, you-”

“Would you cut the third person crap? You’re 16 Jaejoong, act like it.”

Silence.

Defining, painful, not even a pin dared to drop silence as each boy began to process what was just said. One was fearful that this was the end of a long friendship, the other full of regret.

All malice and vexation evaporated from Junsu’s face. _What have I done?_ “Oh my god, Jaejoong I-”

Jaejoong shook his head and stepped away from the boy. This was really happening. This was actually happening. Just like in the movies. Just like in a dramas. Just like in those terrible western teen series Heejin called entertainment. Only this was real. And it was him and Junsu. And it hurt like nothing else Jaejoong ever experienced.

And Jaejoong was not stranger to pain.

“Jae wait please. I-”

“Don’t touch me!” Jaejoong wailed, swatting away the hand Junsu reached out to him.

His voice was lost and his eyes burned with tears that threatened to spill. _Don’t cry, don’t cry. You can’t cry._ He gritted his teeth and snapped his rubber band but he could already feel his cheeks becoming damp.

This wasn’t working. He needed to run.

Jaejoong checked his watch and thanked god it was 9:03.

“I h-h-have t-to go.” He stuttered. He never stuttered about Junsu. Picking up his bag quickly, he ran for the back doors ignoring Junsu’s cries for him to stop.

“Jaejoong!” He gripped his now brown hair. “Fuck!” He hissed.

Juno was right. He was an idiot.

“Eh em.” A throat cleared.

Junsu turned around to see Mrs. Chee, their school principal, standing behind him with her arms crossed and lips in a hard line. He looked at his shoes and smiled sheepishly at her. “Hi Mrs. Chee. I know how this looks and I know I’m not supposed to be wearing cleats in the building but if you would just give me a moment of your time I could explain-”

“My office. Now.” She bellowed.

“Yeah, I know.” He muttered walking quickly to where she was pointing.

“And take your shoes off!”

\--

\--

\--

 

 

“You’re not allowed to smoke on campus.”

Yunho looked down at the teen girl standing next. She was, like many of the other students, sporting an expensive looking coat and a smug grin. Her hip was popped out at an angle and a designer bag was hanging from her wrist. Her most interesting feature though was her blonde hair. At Yunho’s old high school, kids couldn’t even dye their hair brown.

_What the hell kind of high school is this?_

“Excuse me. Did you not hear a word I just said? There’s no smoking on campus. Are you even a student here? I’m second year class president Kim Yerim and I’ve never seen you before and you don’t look like a parent so-”

Yunho rolled his eyes as she babbled on. If these were the kind of people Jaejoong went to school with, no wonder the boy felt so out of place.

He took one more drag of his cigarette before taking the lid off her coffee cup and dropping it inside. “My mistake.” He smiled.

“Uh! I am so telling Principal Chee about this.” She scoffed and walked away pissed.

Yunho couldn’t help but laugh. It was immature but he was about to go on a date with a quirky 16 year old. That worked as a pass or something right?

He leaned against his car and lit another stick. He had gotten to the school faster than expected since he now knew where it was. Jaejoong wouldn’t be out for at least another half hour, if at all. A small part of Yunho was kicking himself for asking the boy to skip.

When he was 16, Yunho looked for excuses to cut class but Jaejoong did not strike him as the type to miss school for anything. He looked so studious, it made Changmin look like a slacker. Yunho didn’t even know the child’s schedule. What if he had an important class or something? Granted, the boy wasn’t a third year but at a school like this, Yunho got the feeling that every class was important.

This was so stupid and selfish, he should have never asked the boy do to do this. Although to be fair, Jaejoong could have said no. It wasn’t like Yunho was expecting a yes.

Another thought filtered his head, curtesy of Kyuhyun. He wasn’t manipulating the child was he? Yunho knew the difference lied within the intent but he was still a little fearful. It annoyed him how much he was worrying about stuff that never mattered to him before like his actions or appearance. The latter wasn’t that important but he still spent an hour in front of his closet deciding what to wear.

“I need a drink.” He muttered stomping out his cigarette butt. “And more smokes.”

A gust of wind brushed past him giving him a chill and startling him a little.

“Sorry!” The kid who ran by yelled back.

He was wearing athletic cloths and carrying a soccer ball. Yunho stared at his back for a second longer until he disappeared with in the school.

“It’s official. The kid goes to a drama high school.”

He shook his head and checked his watch. 8:45. He opened his car door and moved to sit inside to keep warm. He'd wait until 10. If Jaejoong wasn’t out by then, he wasn’t coming. It bothered Yunho how much he hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

A few Youtube videos later, he heard a thud followed by a loud creak. One of the double doors at the back of the school was being opened. Yunho felt hope build up in his chest as he waited impatiently for the person to show their face.

The smile he expected to wear never came and instead all the hope ad joy bubbling up within him was stomped out by anger and a need to kill.

He was getting real sick of seeing Jaejoong in tears all the time. Actually he’d only seen Jaejoong in tears twice before but that averaged out to him seeing the child sad more times than happy.

Yunho took three deep breaths and forced himself to calm down. He didn’t want Jaejoong to see his temper, not again. He didn’t know why he was so angry, why he felt like storming into that school and finding whoever did this and beating them to a pulp. It scared him actually. Yunho know he had a short fuse but it seemed as though ever since Jaejoong came into the picture, he had been twice as ill-mannered and twice as likely to start a fight. He thought he left that person in the past. That person should be in the past but it was still a part of him. And for the hundredth time, that day alone, he was questioning whether or not he and Jaejoong should even be around each other.

He sighed. Well, he was already here.

He stepped out of the car and walked the short distance to where Jaejoong sat on the steps. The doe had his head buried in his knees and his whole frame was shaking. Yunho felt more of his humanity return to him at the site. He wanted to cradle the boy. Comfort him and let him know everything would be okay. It was ridiculous but Jaejoong made him feel ridiculous.

Among other things.

He was still trying to determine just _what_ those things were.

“Rough morning?” He joked, trying to keep things lite. All humor dissipated once he caught site of Jaejoong’s face. “Oh Joongie.” He sighed.

Jaejoong blinked and quickly wiped the snot and tears from his face. “Y-Yunnie! Hi!” He beamed quickly standing to his feet. “S-s-sorry I’m l-late. Jo-I was-” He stopped when Yunho put a hand to his cheek. “Y-Yunnie?”

The man said nothing as he brushed away the remains of Jaejoong’s tears. He slung Jaejoong bag over his shoulder and took him by the hand to his car. Jaejoong bit his lip he was forced to follow unsure of what to say or do.

“Um, Yunnie?” He tried again as the man but his bag it the back seat of his car. “I-I eep!” He squeaked when Yunho pulled him into the front seat and on sat him on his lap.

Jaejoong stiffened for a moment before relaxing the larger male’s hold. He rested his head on the man’s broad chest and inhaled his wood and nicotine sent. It was oddly comforting to him.

“You okay?” Yunho finally spoke.

“I…I…no.” Jaejoong emitted, another tear escaping his sad brown eyes. “I-I think…Joongie lost a friend today.”

Yunho nodded as he rubbed the boys back. “I’ve been there.” He consoled. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Jaejoong wiped away the tears that tickled his nose. “Not really.”

“Okay.” Yunho allowed. He’d let Jaejoong talk when he was ready. For now, he’d let the matter drop. He helped Jaejoong into the passenger seat and buckled him in. “If it’s any consolation.” He said reaching around the backseat. “If they’re really your friend, they’ll come back. And if not, then you’re better off without them.”

“I hope it’s the first one.” He whispered. He blinked in surprise when Yunho put Kero Keroppi in his lap. He nuzzled the plush top before turning to Yunho with a smile. “Thank you.”

Yunho kissed his temple and pet his cheek with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it. But no more tears today okay?”

“Okay.” Jaejoong agreed happily.

Yunho chuckled a little and started the car.

“Yunnie?”

“Joongie?”

Jaejoong giggled at that. “W-where are we going?”

“First, out to breakfast. Second, that’s a surprise.” He winked.

Jaejoong gasped excitedly. “Really Yunnie!? Joongie loves surprises! Can he guess? Prewy pwease!”

Yunho laughed as he pulled out of the parking lot. “You can but you’re probably not gonna get it.”

“Can we play 20Q?”

Yunho glanced at the boy then back at the road. “What’s that?”

“It’s a guessing game. I ask 20 questions that you answer and that the end I guess what my surprise is.”

“You really like playing games huh?” Yunho smirked as he slowed to a stop at the red light.

“Uh huh.” Jaejoong responded brightly. He would have said more but Yunho cut him off with a hot kiss.

“Good.” The man husked against his lips. “I do too.” Another kiss. “I especially love winning them.”

Jaejoong froze and was red down to his chest. Yunho licked his lips at the boy’s deep V-neck sweater exposing his pale flesh and the hickies from yesterday. _Later_ , thought with a chuckle, stepping on the gas when the light turned green.

Today was going to be a lot of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I LIVE! Again. I was back for a while but you might not have known that unless you read my KyuWook piece. 
> 
> Anyways by beautiful honey beez, thank you for being patient with me and thank you for all the love you have given me and this story. I have a lot of fun stuff planned for this fic and more in the future so make sure you subscribed to me on my profile so you get all the updates. Unless, you know, you don’t want to in which case I guess that’s fine but I’ll be sad!  
> School has started but fear not for unlike most normal good people, I write more during my school days as a way to procrastinate on more important stuff. Seriously I have two essays and a speech due Monday and I am writing this instead of working on that. YOU ARE WELCOME!
> 
> Comment, upvote, tell your friends, bother me with your inquires haha, whatever is fine. I love you all and will see you soon :]


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